Nothing Is Trivial: The Seeds of Memory
by Mr Ug
Summary: Resumed - Sometimes, the choices we make are neither good nor bad, they just are. For one man, the consequences of those choices will test the limits of what he and those he cares for can bear. - Continuation of Nothing Is Trivial.
1. We Are What We Are

_**[A:N] Just some forewarning, I wanted to try something different with this continuation of "Nothing is Trivial", so I added in sections of background music. Feel free to ignore. Thank you everyone for your efforts in bearing through my previous attempt, as well as a special thank you to the person who was willing to listen to my ramblings. I hope this continuation meets your expectations.**_

* * *

_*Background Music: Lithium, Evanescence*_

Silence …

Calm …

The peace of the hush that reverberates throughout the expanse was fleeting at best. Gazing over at the lithe form laying beside him in contented slumber, a grin crossed what passed for lips on his face. Disturbing the dark embrace of the void between them was the persistent glow of his appendages.

Forever infused with this blight, her vision of him was unwavering. Forever stained by the horror cursing through his flesh, her touch never recoiled. With baited breath she awaited his caress. In her repose, her subconscious reached out for his embrace.

And yet as he stared down at the incarnation of his most primal desires, the guilt that had overtaken him with each twilight passing had grown evermore.

"… Gary … You know we should get a dimmer switch put on you." His love playfully said as she soothingly caressed his outstretched arm that braced the weight of his body.

"That or _The Clapper_ as Joker showed me in an old Earth vid."

Sitting upright Garrus removed his arm unceremoniously from his mate's grasp. Coming to his feet, he walked over to the dresser adjacent to the bed. Grasping a darker colored bottle from the collection in front of him, he poured the contents into a tumbler before consuming rapidly. Resting both of his hands on either side of the glass, his head sunk downward as the liquid took its desired effect.

The joy of the moment now a distant memory, Kasumi rose up from their bed. Lifting her robe which laid without care on a nearby chair, she briefly studied its bright floral pattern.

'_One of her favorites …'_

Smiling forlornly, she covered her bare skin before gradually coming up behind her turian love. Reaching her arms around his waist, she grasped him with gentle firmness before receiving a reassuring squeeze from his hand on hers.

"I'm okay …"

"No … You're not. Don't shut me out …" Kasumi pleaded softly.

Turning to face her, Garrus slowly caressed her arms before reaching up with one of his hands; resting it softly on her cheek. Joining his warm touch, her hand grasped his before pulling him closer into a comforting embrace. Gazing into her eyes, Garrus lightly grasped her supple chin before drawing her in as their lips united into one.

Withdrawing reluctantly, he turned his gaze away from hers before being redirected by her soft touch on his battle-scarred cheek.

"… Please …" She implored as the meaning behind her words was not lost.

"Shepard …"

Nodding in quiet response, she had dreaded that this moment would eventually come. As with all things, her hopes had fallen back to reality just as Shepard's many foes had fallen before him.

"Do you need me?" Kasumi empathetically implored.

"Yes …" Garrus said as he ran his hand along her arm before tenderly removing her hand from his cheek.

"… and I always will …"

Grasping both her hands in his as he stared down at the familiar set before him, he spoke.

"I need to know you're safe ..."

Reluctantly releasing his grasp, Garrus proceeded towards the footlocker holding his armaments. Grasping what he felt would be needed, he began the slow process of entombing himself in its protection. Suddenly he felt a light embrace around him grasping at the plates guarding his chest.

"Let me …" She said as she began the process of enclosing him within its protection.

Turning slowly, Garrus raised his arms as the last piece of armor was caringly laid into place. Reaching over his shoulders before clasping it together, Kasumi gently whispered as a lock of her hair rested on his shoulder.

"Promise me, you'll come back …"

Lightly resting his head against hers, Garrus enjoyed the brief respite before making his way towards the door. Stopping suddenly, he turned his head slightly as his back faced his mate. With a heavy heart, Garrus slowly let a response escape before leaving her presence.

"I promise, I'll try …"

* * *

_*Background Music: To Be Treated, Terry Reid*_

_2 Months ago_

"Tell me something …" The intoxicated human said as he stared at the contents in the glass before him.

Forcing down the foul fluid as his eyes slightly winced, he slammed the glass on the counter causing the others to rattle incessantly before calm returned to the collection massing before him. Reaching for the bottle that he had often referred to as his S_alvation Through Inebriation_; his unsteady reach tipped it precariously over before being grasped by a familiar set of talons.

"What does it profit a man to save the galaxy but lose his soul?"

Pouring the fluid into the waiting container, he joined the intoxicated human at the bar, drawing several curious stares at the eerie glow gracing his appendages. Returning their gaze with a stern look and sinister grin, the onlookers thought better and returned to their own contemplations backed by the low chatter in the establishment.

"You hearing me!" The human shouted as he unsteadily reached for his companion's shoulders, almost falling out of his seat.

Grasping his arm, the turian calmly steadied his comrade before returned his limb back to the table in front of him. Nodding at the barkeep, he received a safe equivalent of what his companion had been consuming.

"He's been at it all night …" The salarian barkeep said with an annoyed tone.

"And so what if I have! You wouldn't even have this _fucking_ job let alone your fucking _life_ if I didn't risk my fucking _ass_ and that of a lot of fucking _people_ you son-of-a …" The enraged soldier yelled as he reached out towards the recoiling salarian, knocking several glasses to the floor.

"Hey … Forget it … Remember, they used to eat flies?" The glowing turian said as the bartender confusing stared at the pair.

Laughing loudly at the comment that filled his mind with a pleasant memory, Commander Shepard uneasily raised his glass to his turian brother-in-arms. Slurring his words, he attempted to make an adequate toast.

"That Protintin … _Prothean_ … What's his name … Jav … Javish … No, no … Javik! … Funny son-of-a-bitch …"

"To Javik." Garrus said with a strong bravado drawing a final annoyed look from the bartender before leaving to attend to other patrons.

Little did he know how close he became to becoming nothing more than a stain on the floor at the hands of the drunk human. Downing their drinks in unison, Garrus poured another round for the pair from their respective liquors. Seeing that Shepard even in this extreme of an intoxicated state was staring keenly past his glass, deep in thought, Garrus decided to broach the subject of what was bothering him.

"Rough day I take it?" he said as he sipped the strong liquor, his thoughts focusing briefly on future implications with his mate if he continued this course of action.

'_Better take it easy here or it's another night on the couch …'_

Fiddling with his glass as it bounced lightly back and forth between his hands, Shepard continued his gaze before responding softly.

"You wouldn't lie to me, would you Garrus?" His pointed words taking his turian friend aback.

Choosing his next words cautiously, Garrus took a slow swig from his glass as he formulated a response in his mind. Finishing his drawn out sip, he placed his drink down. Opening his mouth to speak the words that his friend desperately wanted to here, he was interrupted before they could escape his lips.

"I saw Admiral Raan today …" Shepard said as he slid the glass ever faster between his waiting finger tips, infused with miniature biotic barriers to cushion the impacts.

"That must have been …" Garrus started to say before being interrupted again.

"Yeah, it was." Shepard responded as he grasped the previously sliding glass tightly with his hand, cracking it as the shards dug into his flesh.

At that moment, Garrus felt as if time had come to a standstill as Shepard slowly turned his head toward him. Gazing with the intenseness of a hunter stalking his prey, Shepard pointedly asked him the question that he had been dreading.

"Was I right?"

* * *

_Earlier that day …_

Shepard knew that the quarian-geth delegation would be arriving sometime today for an official recognition from the Council on their contributions to defeating the Reapers and formal reception of a joint embassy. Due to old wounds that for some would never heal, there were grumblings from quarian factions that a separate embassy should be granted. But for those who had known the hidden truth behind the Morning War and were not blinded by their own prejudices, this was a small price to pay for recognition, and ultimately, a lasting peace. But most of all to the troubled Commander, he knew that _she_ would be in attendance as a diplomat for her people.

His official death wasn't widely known and to those who had a passing knowledge of his demise through scuttlebutt, it was assumed that it was a similar ploy as had been done prior to the defeat of the Collectors. But _she_ knew the truth. _She_ knew what had become of him, of _her_.

As the hero of the war with the Reapers and member of the Alliance, notwithstanding the efforts he had gone through to forge not only peace but an alliance between the quarians and the geth, Shepard was expected to be in attendance to greet the dignitaries. At the insistence of Admiral Hackett, he reluctantly accepted. As he stood at the end of the platform waiting for the shuttle to dock, he wished he hadn't.

Flanked on either side of him by representatives from the turian and asari governments, he waited their arrival as a condemned man would the gallows.

"Is everything alright, Commander?" The turian representative asked the Commander as he sensed his uneasiness.

"What? Yes … Yes everything is fine." Shepard spoke with a feigned confidence.

Turning his attention to the now docked shuttle, several geth platforms disembarked from the transport before flanking the shuttle entrance in a ceremoniously defensive posture. Since the completion of hostilities between the two races, the Geth had surprisingly taken a proactive stance in their defense of their creators, allowing the quarian people to devote their efforts on settlement work on Rannoch. They also provided invaluable assistance on the home-world with acclimatizing the flotilla population during this transition.

'_Your sacrifice Legion hasn't been in vain …'_

"Commander?" The asari representative inquired as Shepard was brought again out of his inner most thoughts.

Shaking his head briefly, Shepard proceeded forward with the rest of the Council representatives to greet the dignitaries. The odd site of geth platforms, now infused with individuality due to the Reaper code within them, performing the pleasantries of diplomatic interaction was not lost on the Commander. As he made his rounds, the procession moved towards the suites designated for the reception.

Sipping lightly on a drink he had been provided as he studied what was unfolding before him, his mind drifted away to a guilt ridden thought.

'_If you could only see this, Tali …'_

Suddenly he felt a firm grasp from a three fingered hand on his bicep directing his attention towards the owner.

"Admiral Raan …" Shepard started to say before being cut off by a forceful set of words.

"I need to speak with you Commander, _now_."

Excusing himself from the rest of the party, Shepard quickly downed his drink before proceeding after the determined quarian making her way towards one of the offices set aside for the quarian-geth delegation. The office was flanked by a pair of geth sentries, slightly bigger than a standard platform with a few upgrades that Shepard didn't recognize. Motioning with her helmet covered head, Admiral Raan spoke commandingly.

"Leave us."

Acknowledging her orders, the platforms proceeded away from the office as they glanced at each other momentarily.

'_I swear I think they both just gave each other a confused look …' _Shepard thought briefly before following Admiral Raan into the office, the automatic door shutting behind them.

"So what is it you would like to see me about Ad …" Shepard attempted to say before being greeted with a strong strike across his face; the force of the blow knocking him slightly backwards and twisting his head.

"Enough with the diplomatic pleasantries _Commander_. Where is my Tali?" Admiral Raan said with a building anger behind her words.

"Shala I …" Shepard attempted to say before being interrupted by a now furious quarian.

"Don't you call me that Shepard! You don't have the _right_ to address me in such a manner, not after what you have done! Now, I'll ask again for the _last_ time, where is she?"

Shepard briefly contemplated the events that had lead up to this moment before being grasped on the shoulder by his former attacker, causing him to turn his head back towards her.

"Commander … Please, I need to know … _Keelah …_" She said with her voice breaking slightly as she finished her words.

Her earlier assault had caused a cut to form on Shepard's face; the blood from it had slowly trickled down his cheek. Before her very eyes the cut had already mostly closed before shutting completely, the only sign of the previous attack being the red stain of blood on his cheek. Looking at his assailant with a cold stare devoid of emotion, Shepard responded with ice behind his words.

"Follow me … _Admiral_."


	2. A Price Paid

"Sickening bullshit this is." The angered human female mechanic said to her companion as they stared at the dock where the quarian-geth diplomatic party had landed.

"Yeah, you would think the council would know that the geth are just junior Reapers waiting for their turn to wipe us out." A somewhat slim human male with a heavy accent responded as he looked up momentarily from the repairs he was doing.

Walking with a purpose towards the two, a perturbed turian male approached the duo, drawing their attention to him. Shaking his head as a small smirk crossed his face; he looked at the two before him with sullen eyes.

"I can imagine what you two hairless apes are jawing about now …"

"Just the truth boss, nothing wrong with speaking that is there?" The human female said as she wiped a bead of sweat that had formed on her brow, staining her skin with the grease present on her hands.

"That the Council is blind as fuck when it comes to what the geth really are? Nah, I don't have a problem with that." The turian said as he carefully looked around to see that only his intended recipients heard his words.

Moving closer to the two humans while checking his surroundings again, the turian motioned to the pair to come closer so his words may be said at a lower volume.

"You'd be surprised how common that _truth_ is, even among the quarians."

Turning to walk away, the effective foreman left hastily, leaving his human staff to contemplate the meaning behind his words. Suddenly a beep was heard on both of their omni-tools. Looking at each other curiously, they accessed their messaging systems. Reviewing what had been jointly received, the pair closed their omni-tools before hastily returning to their tasks.

Rapidly finishing the repairs they had been assigned, the duo gave each other a reassuring nod before heading out. Stopping to grab a well-deserved bite at a local human eatery, the pair attempted to hurriedly force down their small meals in-between breaths. Stopping briefly as she contemplated what had transpired earlier, the human female reached out for her cohort. Grasping his arm to get his attention from the meal he was devouring, she shook his arm rapidly.

"Hey … _Hey_! Can you stop feeding your face for one second?"

"I haven't eaten all day. Woman, leave me be." The male said with a grumble as he pulled his arm away, forcing down another morsel of the sandwich he was attempting to enjoy.

"Can you just pretend you are on-duty for a second?" She said as a hint of irritation rose in her voice.

"Aye, I can pretend, but you make it hard with you bending over picking up stuff all the time …" He said as a grin crossed his face as he chewed the remains of what had been a sandwich earlier.

Unable to resist, she let out a small chuckle before composing herself into a more serious state. She never was able to fully resist his form of humor, a trait that had always been attractive to her.

"Very funny. So how do you want to handle this? Should we forward this on to Bailey?"

Contented with the food that was now making his way through his digestive system, Kenneth Donnelly proceeded to access his omni-tool for further review of the message he and Gabby had been sent earlier. Committing the information to memory, he shut his tool down before returning to his meal, taking a drink before responding.

"Not yet. We don't have enough right now to make it worth his while. Who knows, this may just be a setup ."

"Okay. Let's see if we can find anything else out. In the meantime, got any plans?" Gabby said, hoping the plans he had in his mind included more than just her watching him force food into his stomach.

"Well, I had heard that Sha'ira was taking new clients …" He started to teasingly say as he took another sip of his drink before being greeted with the table thrust forcefully into his abdomen.

Reacting reflexively, he was unable to keep his mouth shut as the contents spat forth, spraying his companion with the concoction. Wincing slightly as the liquid rolled down her face, Gabby looked up at her companion as he tried his best to hold in his laughter.

"I take it I deserved that?" Gabby said with a smile as she proceeded to wipe her face.

"Aye … I just wish it didn't have to involve me getting a table to me _washboards_ to make it happen."

* * *

Walking at a somewhat heightened pace, the odd pair rapidly made their way towards a destination known just to the human member of duo. The silence between them was only broken by an infrequent inquiry by the quarian companion concerning the amount of time left before arrival. Peculiarly, very little was spoken concerning the circumstances leading to the current state of affairs that had led up to this moment.

Stopping abruptly at the sound of the voice that he could now identify its owner easily from a great distance, Shepard became frozen in place as he attempted to remain somewhat out of view of his mark.

"Shepard, what is it?" Admiral Raan asked, her words spoken without a kind of anger for the first time since there meeting today.

"Over there Admiral. She's over there." Shepard said as he attempted to point inconspicuously.

"I don't see anything. If this is some game you are trying to play with me Shepard, I assure you that the repre …"

Cutting her off with an agitated look, Shepard proceeded to interrupt her while focusing his attention back on the figure in the distance.

"Admiral, I don't blame you for your anger at me. Trust me. But if you don't shut up now and just _look_, I'll shut you up, _got it_?"

Nodding in quiet acceptance at the seriousness and sincerity of Shepard's words, Admiral Raan focused her attention of the gathering of people off in the distance. At first glance, she didn't see anything remarkable other than a group of children from various species being attended to until a certain figure with a powerful stride stepped into view. The joy present on her face was as prominent as the familiar three-finger limb touching one of the kids who attempted to flee in a game of _tag_ as the humans referred to it.

Grasping the human child firmly as he attempted to escape, the lithe form lifted him into the air as he let out a scream in a purely joyful manner. Seeing their fellow playmate was in dire need of saving, the other children rushed his would-be captor and wrestled her to the ground, to the amusement and laughter of all involved.

"Is that …" Admiral Raan inquired as she wringed her hands together.

"Yes Admiral, it is."

"But she's not … she isn't …" The Admiral attempted to say as her voice became broken, overwhelmed with the mix of emotions she was feeling.

Moving his hand to her shoulder in attempt to comfort her, Shepard lightly embraced the Admiral before speaking.

"She is free of that prison Admiral, forever. But that freedom came with a high price ..."

Looking at the Commander as he struggled to put into words what had transpired prior to this very moment, Admiral Raan listened intently as Shepard described the circumstances from their death, to his resurrection, and finally to this very moment.

Turning to look at her niece, Admiral Raan walked over to the railing next to her. Grasping it mightily, she felt a flood of anger surge in her veins. Turning rapidly towards Shepard, her vision was returned with that of a stare, broken and hollow.

"And you really believe that this … this _existence_ is what is best for her, what is best for my Tali?" She sincerely inquired while attempting to hold down her anger.

"With all due respect Admiral, she doesn't belong to _you_ or _anyone_. And I will do what I must to keep it that way."

Walking calmly over to him, Admiral Raan reached out toward him as he looked past her at what had once been the object of his deepest affection. His focus solely on her, a charging krantt of krogan could not have moved his gaze.

'_And I always thought only our people felt …'_ Admiral thought as her hand drew closer to him.

Burying down the anger that had been building inside of her since the truth had been revealed to her, her touch changed from one filled with anger to one of comfort. Gently caressing his cheek as she redirected his vision towards hers, she spoke softly.

"Shepard … Shepard, look at me."

"Admiral, I …"

Cutting off his words, Admiral Raan continued. Unbeknownst to them however, several sets of unsympathetic eyes viewed the preceding with disgust as they drew closer.

"I have always known that she cared deeply for you ever since she returned to me after defeating Saren. I suspected she had more than just friendly feelings toward you after you spoke on her behalf at her trial by the way she looked at you. And I know there is nothing more that she would have wanted, no matter the cost, than to be with you."

Pausing briefly to let her words sink in, her attention stayed focused on Shepard as the pair remained unaware of those approaching their position quickly.

"Knowing all she would give for not only her people but for you, why couldn't you stand beside her while she tried to regain the life that she wanted with you? I know human bondings can be not as permanent as quarian ones but …"

In an instant, his demeanor changed. Moving rapidly towards the Admiral, Shepard came to within several inches of her helmet, almost bumping her. His eyes surging with reaper-infused biotic energy, he spat his words with venom she didn't know was possible.

"Don't you think I want nothing more than that! I don't give a shit what you think you know about me or human _bondings_, but don't you stand here Admiral and think I am going to let you insult what Tali and I …" He shouted before stopping suddenly at the realization that they were not alone, or among friendly company.

"Get behind me …" Shepard whispered quietly as he took on a defensive posture by the Admiral.

Several individuals suddenly were encircling the pair causing Admiral Raan to slowly reach for her sidearm before the apparent leader of the group, a somewhat stocky human with angular facial features raised his SMG.

"Now, I don't think that would be such a great idea, do you?"

"What do you want?" Shepard said, his peripheral vision rapidly scanning the number of enemies present. He counted a total of four.

"She looks pretty put together for a _bucket,_ don't you think?" His words drew agreeing nods from his armed companions.

"I heard that there was this big shindig for some _bucket_ VIPs the Council was putting on. By the looks of her, she's more than your average _bucket_, wouldn't you say boys!" The leader said to jeers from his comrades before continuing.

"So why don't you send the _bucket_ over and …" He attempted to finish saying, but was cruelly interrupted by a sudden biotic blast of energy knocking him from his feet.

Reeling back on the ground in shock as his men attacked the pair, the would-be leader watched as his companions were rapidly dispatched by the infuriated human and his quarian partner. Several blasts from the side-arm the quarian had been carrying had laid waste to two of his companions, the facial features no longer recognizable on one of them. Gathering his senses, he reached for his SMG before feeling a heavy weight striking down on his arm, crushing the bones in it.

Screaming in pain, his head was forcibly turned to face his attacker who knelt over him. Striking rapidly, the first blow Shepard landed shattered his nose while most likely causing a concussion. Rushing over to Shepard's side, Admiral Raan aimed her weapon at the downed attacker.

"Tell me who sent you!"

"Fuck you … fucking _bucke_ …" He attempted to say before another fist landed squarely on his face from an enraged Shepard.

"Say _bucket_ again!" Shepard yelled before striking him repeatedly as masses of blood and mucous flew.

"Say _bucket_ again! Say _bucket_ _one_ _more_ _time_ you motherfu …" Shepard yelled before striking his foe much harder as his knuckles became reinforced with biotic energy.

With each blow, Shepard's vision shifted between the enemy beneath him and images of happier times he had spent with Tali. The volume of his repeated epithets silenced in his mind, with each blow struck Shepard wanted to force out the Reaper energy that plagued him. With each wallop Shepard attempted to destroy what Feron had done.

"Commander Shepard! _Shepard_!" Admiral Raan implored before several turian C-Sec agents tackled the infuriated Commander who flung several of them off before eventually being subdued.

"Are you okay Admiral?" A concerned Commander Bailey as he came up beside her.

"What … _Yes_, yes I am fine Commander Bailey."

Nodding in acknowledgement of her words, Bailey turned to face his officers that were tending to the assailant that Shepard was previously pummeling.

"I want him for questioning. Get him to …"

"No need sir, he's gone. Not sure he could even answer a question let alone say the first letter of his _abc's_ in this state if he was still alive." The attending officer said as she stood up, wiping off his hands on the dead attacker's clothes.

Walking over reluctantly to the restrained Commander Shepard who was in more control of his faculties now, Bailey assessed the scene as a crowd had gathered. Moving close to Shepard, he gestured for his men to let him go as he offered him a hand, drawing him to his feet.

"Quite a mess I got here Shepard … 4 dead in broad daylight in addition to an attack on a quarian ambassador. Even with your Spectre status, it's going to be hard to just brush this under the rug."

Pushing past the C-Sec officers standing between them, Admiral Raan moved towards Bailey, drawing his attention.

"Please Commander Bailey, do what you can to keep this quiet. Shepard was only protecting me from these common thugs."

"Sir, check this out." A C-sec officer scanning the dead said while tossing Bailey one of the weapons retrieved from the assailants.

Examining the weapon, Bailey proceeded to toss it to Shepard who grasped it reflexively. Briefly examining the pistol, he came to the same conclusion as Bailey had earlier.

"Pretty fancy weapon for a common thug, wouldn't you say Shepard?" Bailey said before motioning for his men to clean up the area.

While continuing to examine the weapon, a familiar voice shouted in his direction, grabbing his attention immediately.

"Shepard! Shepard! Shepard are you okay? Let me through!" The voice yelled at the C-Sec officer blocking her path before a nod from Shepard allowed her passage.

Rushing to him, she ignored the grisly scene before coming to a stop in front of Shepard and the Admiral.

"Shepard … I heard the gunfire below, are you okay?" She asked with genuine concern.

"Yeah … I'm okay." He said in the guarded manner he had learned to do these past months.

The strain of the moment was not lost on Admiral Raan who approached carefully, drawing attention to herself.

"Oh hello … And you are?" She asked with curiosity.

Seeing that Admiral Raan was at a loss for words as she stared at the figure before her, Shepard interjected.

"Tali, this is Admiral Raan of the Quarian Flotilla. She is here on official business for her people."

An uneasy silence filled the air immediately after the introductions between the three. Seeing that there was a deep curiosity that Tali wished to satisfy by the way she was staring at Admiral Raan, Shepard took the opportunity to allow it to be sated.

"Admiral Raan, I am sure Tali would love to hear all about the quarian people. I'll leave you two alone. If you need me … I'll be in my quarters."

Hastily departing, Shepard took one last look at the duo as they strolled away towards one of Tali's favorite areas.

* * *

_*Background Music: Nothing Man, Pearl Jam*_

It had been a few hours since the incident with Admiral Raan. Luckily for him, the passage of time was always increased with the amount of liquor he ingested. Unfortunately, the rest of the universe moved along at this rapid pace as well. This was further proven by the incessant buzzing occurring from someone wishing to enter his quarters. Coming to his feet as his body was already processing the toxins present enough to have him pass for being only _buzzed,_ Shepard responded.

"This better be good … Enter!"

Walking forward into what passed as his living room, Admiral Raan examined the place. It was huge by quarian flotilla standards, but, was smaller than she thought when compared to the living areas being established on Rannoch. It was also significantly filthier.

'_I hope this isn't the conditions they were living in before …'_

Brushing the thought aside as she moved toward Shepard, Admiral Raan sat down at what passed for a chair. Seeing that Shepard was in no mood or most likely condition to sit without falling over, she allowed him to stay in the position he presently was in. Feeling uncomfortable just sitting down, Admiral Raan thought the better of it and stood, walking over to a stand holding a single frame, the cleanest section in the place.

"I had a good talk with Tali, Shepard. From what I have been told, I was able to confirm that she has no recollection of who she once was."

Reaching out, Admiral Raan grasped the sole holo-frame before her. Studying the image present on it, she saw a happy couple together, one part human, one part quarian. Tracing the image with her extended finger, she continued.

"She is not as naïve as people think Shepard. She knows a great many things about her surroundings, as well as about herself." Her words drew a raised eyebrow from the inebriated commander.

Carefully placing the picture down, Admiral Raan proceeded towards the exit. Pausing momentarily at the precipice, she looked over her shoulder, uttering a final set of words before returning to her quarters.

"I don't know if I can ever forgive you Shepard for the choice you made. But I hope one day, you can forgive yourself."


	3. What We Leave Behind

"How about another drink? Same poison or you want something more _girlie_ this time?" A familiar voice said as he attempted to hone in on its location without swaying.

"Wha … What's that?" Shepard asked as he focused on grasping the table to steady himself as his head had the perceived weight of a krogan on his neck.

"You were saying how you could drink me under the table … Other than watching you _crawl_ under the table in search of the remaining liquid from the glass you dropped, I am still waiting for that." Garrus said with a grin before steadily sipping on his drink.

'_Dammit, almost had him drunk enough …'_

Raising his hand in an excessive gesture, a trait especially common among humans who are inebriated, Shepard gave a confused look before slurring what passed for speech.

"Wait, that's not right … I … you … weren't we talking about …"

"Yeah, you were going on about Admiral Raan and how you played the _hero_ without your wingman, so you thought you would make up for it by buying me …" Garrus said before pausing to look at the table of alliance and turian soldiers raising their mugs in his direction, returning a nod in acknowledgement before continuing.

"Before buying the _bar_ a few rounds of their choice, or as you belched out on top of the table, _Pick Your Poison Bitches! _This, of course, followed by your _grand finale_ of, as you human's call it, _stage diving_ in my direction. You get a check for the vids they are making about us that you didn't tell me about?"

Laughing deeply at Garrus' comment, Shepard drunkenly slammed his fist several times on the table in merriment, drawing several odd stares. His humor dying down quickly, a slight smirk remained on his face as he stared at a quarian female and turian male seated together enjoying each other's company.

Seeing that Shepard's focus was no longer on him, Garrus turned slightly to see what had grasped the Commander's attention before Shepard interjected.

"Nah … My credit chit should still be good. Got a nice backlog from that year where I was a frozen side of beef. Amazing what you can save without you _moochers_ drawing on my accounts." Chuckling briefly as he continued his stare at the mixed species couple in the distance, Shepard unexpected stopped his merriment.

"Excuse me, Garrus." Shepard said in an unexpectedly formal manner as he attempted to stand, focusing his energy on identification of what exactly that all entailed.

Seeing that his human friend, even with his reaper-tech implants, was having quite the challenge with his equilibrium, Garrus grasped his arm and steadied him. Moving in the direction of the couple, Shepard felt a slight restraint placed upon his forearm. Looking down at Garrus' grip initially, he moved his gaze up to Garrus face. His stare being all that he needed to convey what he was thinking, the turian reluctantly released his grip.

'_Shit …'_ Garrus thought as he watched him move away from the table.

Stumbling over in the general direction of the couple, images of familiar faces long since buried raced through his mind as they intertwined with the reality of the bar. Unbeknownst to him, his wingman was in close enough pursuit to offer assistance when needed. The perceived weight and shifting stability of his body caused Shepard to shamble from side-to-side with each labored step as he drew closer to his target.

'_I haven't seen him this drunk since he finished his work on restoring Tali's memories_ …' Garrus thought as he followed Shepard, apologizing along the way to anyone the Commander came in contact with.

To Garrus' chagrin, some viewed running into the Commander as a badge of honor and would most likely be reluctant to wash that body part.

'_Thank the spirits it's mainly a hand here and there …'_ Shaking his head at the thought.

As Shepard drew to within a few feet of his destination, the turian male rose up and proceeded in the direction of the bar in an apparent attempt to order more drinks for his companion and himself. Swaying in the direction of the turian as he tried to politely pass the drunken Commander, Shepard wrapped his arm around the turian's shoulder. Drawing the turian uncomfortably closer to himself, Shepard belched loudly, drawing the gaze of the seated quarian female patiently waiting for her refill.

Moving rapidly up to the pair as the encumbered turian male gave Garrus a pleading look for help in extracting himself from the grasp of the Commander, he moved in quickly to the one free spot, closing the semi-circle the two had formed.

"Shepard, let's get going, I think this place is _killing_ my buzz." Garrus said in attempt to appeal to his drunken friend's current state of mind.

"Hey, no … No! _Ssh_! I need to let him know … I … I remember you …" Shepard said as he chuckled between each broken series of words that somewhat resembled speech.

"Excuse me? I'm sorry, I don't recall …" The turian attempted to say in a polite manner as to not offend the famous Commander.

In his drunken state, the reprisal from Shepard that could occur was precariously unknown at best. Even with what apparently seemed like a close friend of the human grasping him firmly, the turian didn't want to risk it.

"I know you _man_ … Mr. _Fleet and Flotilla_? You, you were on Illium once right …" Shepard said before pausing as his eyes slightly closed momentarily.

Time passed uncomfortably as Garrus and the turian waited for the Commander to continue his speech. Seeing that his companion was now actively looking in his direction as to what the hold-up was, the turian attempted to remove himself from Shepard's grasp. Feeling the shift in position, Shepard immediately came-to and tightened his grip.

"Hey, where you going! I said … I said I _know_ you! Look. I … I just …" Shepard said with a slurring dialect before being interrupted by Garrus.

"Shepard … I don't think this is the same ..." He attempted to finish saying before an uneasy set of fingers were placed over his mouth in an effort to silence him.

In that moment, two thoughts ran through Garrus' mind. The first involved how uncomfortable this was making him feel. The second, how clean was Shepard's hand.

"_Ssh_ man … I _got_ this." Shepard said at an almost whisper level.

Turning his attention back to the turian who now was utterly confused at what had just transpired, Shepard 's speech suddenly became as clear as water in a still glass.

"I remember … No, I _know_ you. You were on Illium at that bar with _her._ You care deeply about her, don't you? I could sense it in you when I overheard your conversations with her. I take it she doesn't even know, does she?" His words drew a silent acknowledgement from his turian captive.

Staring at the pair in confusion, Garrus waited with baited breath to see where Shepard was going with this line of questioning. Moving in closer to the turian, Shepard uttered a pointed response whose context had more meaning than just for the turian in his clutches.

"You know what separated us from the Reapers? It's what _you_ feel for _her_. Don't waste it ... _Don't_."

Releasing his grip, Shepard stumbled away from the turian who briefly contemplated what the intoxicated Spectre had said before continuing on to the bar. Reaching the door as he was closely followed by Garrus, Shepard turned and looked back at the turian who nodded in silent acknowledgement of his words before heading out the door.

"Who was that?" The quarian whispered as she sipped on the drink that her turian companion had brought to her.

"A friend …" The turian said as he sat down before taking a sip of his drink.

Imbued with courage from the words that the Commander had said to him, he set his drink down.

"Listen … We need to talk."

Intrigued by the tone behind his words, the quarian playfully placed her drink down.

"_Oooh_ … what's this about …" She attempted to jokingly say before being momentarily startled by a set of talons tenderly grasping her hand.

Caressing her slender encumbered fingers gently as she stared briefly at them before looking up at his face, he spoke with a deep felt sincerity as the emotions that he had long ago suppressed now swelled in his chest.

"I think you know …"

* * *

She had become something of a gardener since her arrival in their lives, or, as she had often commented in discussions with her mate, her return. Today was like any other for the former thief as she made her usual rounds through her household.

'_We are definitely going to have to talk about this … again …'_ Kasumi thought to herself as she reluctantly picked up the litter of clothes that had had been strewn across the floor.

It had become a common custom in the Vakarian home that her charge was not interested in the finer points of tidying up in comparison to her work with the orphans at _Shepards_. Try as she might, any anger she could muster to stress the need for her to keep her room clean was lost when she saw the joy her work brought to her. Even now Kasumi needed to keep her emotions in check lest a wayward tear would escape her eye in her presence.

Lost in her thoughts, Kasumi neglected to notice the entrance of a person into her home.

"Kasumi … Kasumi?" Tali inquired as she looked at the odd picture of Kasumi grasping her clothes, deep in thought.

"Umm … I promise I'll make sure and pick my stuff up before leaving next time." Tali said as she proceeded over to Kasumi, grasping from her the clothing that she had been holding in a somewhat trance state.

Returning to her reality, Kasumi looked at Tali as a big smile came to her face. Reaching out, she grasped Tali tightly in an embrace.

"Is … is everything okay?" Tali asked, puzzled by what had brought on the sudden wave of emotion that Kasumi was feeling.

Composing herself as she released her tight grasp on her quarian friend, Kasumi smiled before responding.

"Yes. I am just happy to see you … Now as far as your _room_ goes … Let's just say I am glad it's _you_ and not Gary." Kasumi's words drew a small giggle from guilty quarian.

Turning to put her things away in a somewhat proper manner, her excitement at what had transpired earlier in the day overwhelmed her concentration. Effectively tossing the garments into her drawer as a small frown crossed Kasumi's face, Tali burst into a flood of words in an attempt to describe what happened.

"Slow down … one thing at a time … So what is this about Shepard and a quarian admiral?" Kasumi said as she sat down on Tali's bed.

Motioning to Tali to do the same, she complied and sat next to Kasumi before continuing at a somewhat less feverish pace. The excitement of the moment that Tali was feeling was not lost on Kasumi, nor was the gnawing feeling that had risen in her gut at the intensity that Tali described any of the moments she was around Shepard. Finishing the first chapter of her tale by ending at the moment prior to leaving with Admiral Raan, Kasumi briefly shook her head drawing a confused look from Tali.

"Kasumi … What is it? Did I do something wrong?" Tali inquired with a genuine concern that her actions had upset her.

"_Tali_ … You have to be more careful. What if something had happened to you?"

"But it was already over when I got there … and Shepard and the quarian admiral had pretty much wiped the floor with them." Tali said with Kasumi almost detecting a hint of pride at that fact.

Smiling softly as she took Tali's hands into hers, Kasumi gently spoke.

"You are very special Tali … to me and Gary …" She attempted to say before being cut off.

"And Shepard?" Tali coyly asked to Kasumi's surprise.

'_What … can she be … no, no she can't …'_ Kasumi sadly thought as the heartbreaking truth forever present was undeniable.

Drawing a slight breath before continuing as she forced the hopeful thought from her mind, she continued.

"Yes Tali, you are special, to _all_ of us. If something happened to you … if something …" Kasumi tried to say as her words became broken as the knowledge of the loss of her friend once before sunk in.

"Are you okay? I'm sorry Kasumi, I didn't mean to upset you." Tali said with legitimate concern.

"No it's nothing. Listen Tali, please, just be more careful okay?" Kasumi said as she gave Tali a reassuring squeeze on her hands as well as a reassuring smile.

Nodding in acknowledgement of Kasumi's request, Tali smiled before standing up and grabbing her clothes that she had forced into the drawer in an attempt to make a better effort in maintaining her room. Going through each item slowly in an attempt to fold them in a manner sufficient with the approval of Kasumi, Tali continued with relaying the events that had occurred earlier in the day.

"So after what happened, I went and spoke with Admiral Raan who told me all about the struggles of the quarian people after they lost their home-world of Rannoch to their creations, the geth. I had read up on the quarians but to hear their struggles first hand, from an _admiral_ no less, it was like a privilege."

"Did you happen to ask her anything about …" Kasumi started to say before being interrupted by Tali as she focused on a particular garment that wouldn't stay folded.

"You mean about me being an unsuited quarian?" She said to a somewhat surprised Kasumi who gave a slight nod before recalling the insults directed at Tali by Lucius Cain so many months ago.

"I haven't forgotten what _he_ said … Or the sacrifice Jacob made that day …"

Pausing briefly as she recalled the horror of that moment and the loss of someone she barely new who saved her, Tali repressed the tragic memory before continuing with her task.

"No, Admiral Raan actually did most of the talking. She told me about the ongoing struggles the quarians were experiencing with adapting their immune systems and how the geth were assisting in one day making it a reality. I hope one day soon it does happen."

Satisfied that her effort at putting the article of clothing away was adequate, Tali moved several items in attempt to find more space in the drawer before coming to a familiar box. Tracing her hands slowly over it, she removed its lid before carefully running her fingers over the face of the object, its luster untarnished. With a slight grin gracing her face, a pleasant thought entered her mind as she recalled the circumstances of it coming into her possession.

_*Background Music: Rain Forever, Graeme Revell*_

"_So how are you settling in Tali?" Shepard asked as he sat next to her near her favorite spot along the calm waters which stood in stark contrast to the state of his heart._

"_I am settling in well Shepard. Thank you for putting in a good word for me at Shepards." The play on words causing her to giggle softly, drawing a smile from the Commander._

_With the amount of loss that had occurred in the fight against the Reapers, the brainchild of one Conrad Verner had grown into almost a franchise of sorts. Shepard's presence and influence, however, __allowed for a quick turnaround in placing the children orphaned by the war. This caused a side benefit that outside of a few trusted staff members as well as coupled with Tali's state of mind, her true identity would remain well hidden._

"_Not a problem. You have a green thumb …" Shepard started to say before seeing Tali giving him the sideways look that had once been used to lovingly tease him._

_Now, it was nothing more than a__ dagger that stabbed at his very being as it brought him back to the reality of what all had been lost. _

'_Focus Shepard …' He quickly thought to himself before continuing._

"_Sorry, figure of speech … What I mean by that is that you're good with plants, flowers … all that stuff. I think the kids could really benefit from that."_

"_So, you are only using me for my green thumb, is that it?" Tali said with a playful inflection upon her words. _

_Grinning, Shepard bantered back._

"_Well, if you'd__ rather be cleaning latrines we can always …" He started to say before drawing a playful punch to his arm from his quarian companion, causing him to freeze._

_Looking intently at Tali who was oblivious to the significance of the unconscious action she had done, Shepard rapidly searched her facial expressions for any sign of remembrance of a life long since laid to rest._

'_Could she …'_

"_I didn't hurt you did I?" Tali said with feigned concern as a smile crossed her face._

"_Nah … You just hit harder than Garrus that's all …" Shepard responded causing the pair to laugh loudly in unison._

_Returning to a calmer state as she continued to look at the water, Tali looked momentarily at Shepard as he stared out over the expanse before turning her head back. Rotating his head to look at her as she focused on the stillness of the clear liquid that reflected it surroundings, Shepard felt the same tug of his emotions on him as had become commonplace when he was around her._

"_I should go." Shepard said as he began to stand._

"_O ... Okay. See you later." Tali said as she continued her focus on the water and its relaxing effects as Shepard departed._

_Turning her head slightly in the direction of where Shepard had been sitting, Tali noticed a small box left in his place. As she reached for the box a small beep was heard on her omni-tool that Kasumi had been insistent on her keeping with her at all times. An older unit, Tali felt it held some sort of sentimental value to Kasumi so she complied._

_Reading her messages, Tali was surprised to see that the message waiting for her was not from Kasumi or Garrus, but from Shepard. Accessing it as she placed the box on her lap, she read its short passage out loud._

"_Tali, the box and its contents I left are yours. – Shepard"_

'_Are yours?' Tali contemplated the meaning behind the last words of his message before shaking the thought free._

_Closing her omni-tool, Tali slowly opened the simple box, unsure of what to expect. To her pleasant surprise, the item glimmered in such a manner that only one word was uttered as she ran her fingers over its surface._

"_Beautiful …"_

"Tali?" Kasumi inquired as she watched her standing still, her mind filled with an obviously pleasant thought.

Rising up, Kasumi walked over and joined Tali who was still reflecting on the object in the box.

"What do you have there?" Kasumi said as she gazed at the box's contents.

"Oh … This is something that Shepard gave me not too long ago. Probably for the work I have been doing at _Shepards._" Tali said before closing the box and returning it to its previously location.

"Probably …" Kasumi said before leaving the room.

Pausing at the entrance to Tali's room, Kasumi stared at her ward as she traced her hands over the box one final time before slowing shutting the drawer.


	4. A Way Forward

The railing had proven its metal by sustaining the efforts of one Commander Shepard, Hero of the Reaper War, as he made an apparent attempt to see if all sections could resist the ever-changing forces he placed on it with his shifting body weight. Finally sated with a location that provided the seclusion he was looking for along with what in his inebriated state he felt was a good view, Shepard grasped the railing as he stared out into the expanse.

Seeing that his friend had finally ended his efforts on structural testing, Garrus found a suitable location next to him. Resting his forearms as he leaned over the side, he glanced momentarily at the Commander whose gaze was unwavering. Allowing the silence to fill the expanse between them, Garrus thought of happier times he had spent with his pal before Shepard spoke in a somewhat clear-headed manner.

"I take it Kasumi is okay with you being on baby-sitting duty tonight?"

"As long as I am not changing any _diapers_, _I'm_ okay with it." Garrus' words drawing a slight chuckle from the Spectre.

"At least with you, I have a built-in _night-light_ if I pass out … So how much am I in for at the bar?"

"Credit-chit wise or _acting-like-an-ass_ chit wise?" His words drew another minor chuckle followed by Shepard shaking his head.

"You get me that new sniper rifle I have been looking at, and we'll call it even."

"Sure you don't want me to have Chakwas remove those scars instead?" His words drawing a smirk from Garrus before he continued.

"No? Okay … Makes your stories I guess more believable about how you _saved_ my ass all those times …"

The pair focusing again on viewing what transpired before them as life continued for the rest of the galaxy, Shepard softly spoke as his vision stayed unwavering.

"How is she?"

"Needs to work on picking up after herself. I got to say though, provides excellent cover for me on my sloppiness."

His joke not having its intended effect, Garrus continued his silent observance as he waited for Shepard to continue. After a few minutes of solitude with his thoughts keeping him company, his patience wore thin as his mind drifted to the uncomfortable conversation he had earlier that evening.

"_What do you want me to say Kasumi … Can you really blame him?" Garrus said as he attempted to hold down__ his voice lest unintended recipients heard his words._

"_No … I don't blame him. If I was in his shoes … But that's not the point Gary, can't you see that?" Kasumi said as she sat on their bed, her legs crossed as her arms encircled her knees in a comforting position._

_Leaning against the dresser as he rested his hands on its top as if he was preparing to propel himself from it, Garrus was at a loss for words. Sensing the dilemma that her mate was having, Kasumi attempted to continue but was interrupted before she could start._

"_I know … I know …" He said as he pushed himself to his feet._

_Standing to meet him, Kasumi ran her hands slowly over his before resting her head on his chest. Reaching his arms around her in a consoling manner, he held her tightly as his cheek brushed against her hair, the scent giving him the strength he needed._

_Releasing his grasp, Garrus made his way out of their room as he passed his effective roommate strolling bashfully into hers. Drawing an odd look from him as her door shut, Garrus cleared his mind before accessing his omni-tool. _

"_Shepard … I was going to ask you the same thing … Same place … See you there …"_

_*Background Music: On Hallowed Ground ,Graeme Revell*_

"There are worse things you know …" Shepard said in a monotone voice as his gaze stayed focused on some unseen object that drew him in as a moth to a flame.

Confused by his words, Garrus blurted out the first thing that came into his mind as his thoughts refocused on the moment.

"Worse things?"

"Yeah … Right now, whatever it is that you want to say to me really has you wound up." The perception the Commander showed even in his intoxicated state was uncanny.

Dumbfounded, Garrus turned his head to look at Shepard who continued his vigil as the words flowed freely from him in a rare moment of clarity.

"I have watched whole companies of soldiers in an instant torn to pieces at the hands of the Reapers. I have watched the innocent die in each other's arms as they prayed for a salvation from the horror that never came in time to save their lives … The salvation I was supposed to bring …"

He paused as the images of the torn bodies of whole families laid to waste by the Reapers from this war and the last, forever burned into his consciousness, raced through his mind as fresh as the day they had occurred. Frozen forever in a state of anguish and horror, their souls cried out not for justice, but for only an answer to the question that haunted his every waking moment, _why_.

"I envy them …" His words drew a shocked look from Garrus as Shepard continued his thousand-yard-stare into the nothingness before him.

"Shepard, you sh …" Garrus said as Shepard trampled over his words with his own in the same monotone voice.

"They were together at least, at the end. And if there is a next life, they are together there, _forever_. But for me, there is and never will be peace. I am just this _thing_ that fucking exists ..."

Turning his head towards Garrus, he glanced briefly at the turian's sidearm before looking him the eyes. Staring momentarily, Shepard slowly twisted his head back to the direction he had previously been facing before continuing.

"Are you my friend, Garrus?" The coldness behind the words surprising the turian.

Composing himself as he attempted to pass off the words spoken as residual effects of his system processing the liquor he had been ingesting, Garrus grasped Shepard's shoulder firmly with his hand. Joining him at the railing again as he placed both of his forearms on it, he spoke.

"Yeah … I am that and more." A brief silence filled the space between them before Garrus continued.

"Why you ask?"

Pausing in his response as he took in a deep breath, he exhaled slowly as images known only to himself flooded his mind. Spent of thought, he finally answered his friend.

"Nothing ... Forget it."

"Listen Shepard, I need to talk to you about Tali …" Garrus' words caused Shepard to break out of his thoughts and focus on his friend.

Garrus had repeatedly ran this moment through his head in search of the right terms but was now at a loss. Taking pity on his friend, Shepard took the initiative.

"I know what you are going to be getting at and your right … It's just when I am around her … I just feel …"

"Yeah …" Garrus said in acknowledgement.

"But with her state of mind Shepard …"

"I know ... You can let your mate know it won't be a problem anymore, alright?" Shepard said as he straightened himself up, the effects of the liquor apparently wearing off.

"Listen Sh … John … I'm sorry …" Garrus said with a heart-felt concern at the cruel joke that life had played on him.

Sensing the dilemma his friend was having, Shepard reached out his hand as he forced a small reassuring grin to cross his face. Returning the gesture, Garrus grabbed the Commander's forearm in acknowledgement of the camaraderie they shared.

"Yeah, so am I …"

* * *

… _Early that morning …_

"How many?" The cryptic artificial voice said with a sprinkling of concern as others in the room listened intently for the forthcoming response.

"There were at least four that we engaged. Of those, none survived." Admiral Raan said as she recalled the events that had transpired earlier.

"Yes … I had heard of Shepard's loss of control … It is a pity that none were left alive … for further interrogation." With an air of arrogance, the heavily accented voice said with an authoritative tone as her image was projected to those in attendance.

"I am quite sure my _safety_ as well as Commander Shepard's is of up most _importance_ to you, Admiral Xen …" Admiral Raan retorted in a slightly heated manner before being interrupted.

"Enough. Admiral Raan … is there anything else you can tell us about this incident?" Admiral Koris bellowed as the low hum of the hologram of Xen let out a light hum.

"No … Commander Bailey has been most willing to assist in brushing over the event. However, he has requested for heightened security during our stay when we venture from the safety of the embassies. "

"I believe that adding a detail of our platforms to any quarian delegation that venture outside of the security of the embassies should be implemented." The single geth prime said to the rest of group, its usage of the singular term causing a slight shudder in several of the quarian members who still had trouble accepting their sentience.

"With the current state of affairs on the Citadel, it would be beneficial to _our_ embassy efforts to not have you synthetics freely roaming …" Admiral Xen started to say before being interrupted by an unlikely source.

"We have contributed as much as any sentient species to the defeat of the Old Machines and continue to contribute to the benefit of …" The interrupting geth hunter platform said at a heightened pace before stopping abruptly, its words drawing a few shocked stairs from the quarian members of the secretive meeting.

Turning its head in the direction of the previously speaking hunter, the lone geth prime unit refocused its attention to the rest of the quarian members in the summit.

"We will comply with this directive." Its words drew an agree nod from Admiral Raan and Admiral Koris.

"Good. Admiral Raan, please advise Commander Bailey that we will utilize our quarian security detachment to escort our delegates around the Citadel. If there is nothing else, let us conclude these proceedings."

Nodding in agreement, Admiral Xen's image flickered out as the rest of the group rose and exited room. Allowing the quarians to leave first, the delegation of geth which included a geth prime, a geth hunter, and several shock troopers immediately followed.

Proceeding down the hall towards the accommodations that were communally shared by the heads of the geth delegation, their path was impeded by Admiral Koris who approached the geth prime.

"Care to join me for a moment, ambassador?" Admiral Koris said with a diplomatic tone as he motioned in the direction he wished for his cohort to proceed in.

Acknowledging the request with a slight lowering of its head, the other platforms continued their path towards their accommodation, save the lone geth hunter in the group. Turning to face the remaining geth platform, the prime spoke, drawing a curious look from Admiral Koris as to his knowledge communication between geth did not require this.

"I will join you later. Proceed to our room." The geth prime said in a commanding tone.

Looking briefly at the geth ambassador before focusing its attention on the quarian admiral, the geth hunter lowered its head briefly in acknowledgement before proceeding down the hall to join the rest of its party.

Following the admiral, the pair came to a halt at a section of the embassy that overlooked the lake of the Citadel. Enjoying the respite momentarily, Admiral Koris turned to speak to his towering companion.

"Not a bad view, wouldn't you say?"

"I believe organics would find this aesthetically … Yes … It is not a bad view. Is there something you needed to discuss, Admiral?" The geth prime said as he focused his attention on the smaller quarian.

"Right to the point … Very well. What concerns do you have?"

"I feel that the security measures agreed upon are insufficient. Our platforms would provide the best defensive …"

Chuckling briefly, Admiral Koris' actions caused the geth prime ambassador to pause as he observed the actions of the quarian before him.

"And yet, you had enough sense to know not to press the issue." Admiral Koris' words causing the geth prime's flaps to flutter before he continued.

"I will be honest with you ambassador, there are those in the quarian community, let alone in the galaxy, who still do not trust that the geth are different than the Reapers and truly desire peace with organics. With the code disseminated by Legion, there are concerns that a _rogue_ faction of geth could develop who view organics with disdain. They would be more than willing to do away with _all_ the geth to satisfy their fear."

Turning his attention to focus back on the lake below, Admiral Koris didn't have to wait long for a response.

"And what do you believe Admiral?"

Looking out at the proceedings occurring below them, the quarian admiral studied what transpired. Filled with life, the Citadel ebbed and flowed as if it was a life-form on its own. Turning towards the geth prime, the admiral responded.

"That we all deserve the benefit of doubt to find a way forward, together."

* * *

_*Background Music: Believe in Angels, Graeme Revell*_

Carefully she cleared a collection of leaves that had blown in covering the face of the marker. Repeating the pattern that she had come to do every week, she laid down a decorated purple cloth before sitting prominently on top of it. Reaching into the satchel that she had brought with her, she removed several containers and a prominent set of flowers that she had picked earlier.

Rising up from her seated position, Tali removed a withered set of flowers previously placed the week before. Discarding them with some care, she placed the fresh flowers in a stone vase in front of the marker. Taking care to adjust them to what she felt was visually pleasing to her; she slowly admired her work as her head tilted to the side.

"There … much better wouldn't you say?" Alone, her words fell on the silence of her surroundings.

Returning to her previous position on the beautiful fabric, Tali began to consume the items that she had brought with her as she spoke out loud about what had transpired during the week. Unaware, a set of sympathetic eyes viewed what transpired with a longing to do the same. As the young unsuited quarian continued with her musings, a pair of genetically-enhanced ears listened intently.

"I know I have told you before about it, but every time I hold it in my hands it feels like the first time. It shimmers in ways I didn't know were possible. I really need to ask Shepard where he got it." Tali said before continuing to rapidly describe what had transpired the past week.

"… She was amazing to talk to! Just the knowledge she had about the quarian people, their history, and their struggles with their creations, the geth, and how Shepard was involved with finally bringing peace between them! I really hope one day I can visit Rannoch, even if I stand out."

Listening intently to the ramblings that Tali was prone to in this environment, she still heard the familiar sound of a pair of footsteps approaching behind her. Unwavering in her focus on the quarian, a single hand grasped her shoulder before the owner came to a rest by her side. Staring jointly at what unfolded before them, her new companion broke the silence.

"You okay?" Shepard asked quietly to avoid being overheard by Tali.

His concerns about being noticed however were unnecessary as Miranda Lawson had positioned herself at a sufficient distance to be undetected. Continuing her gaze at Tali, Miranda felt a tug in her heart as the emotions she had thought she could disconnect grew harder to ignore.

"I know I say this every time I visit, but I just wanted to say thank you. I know you didn't know me at all, but if you hadn't … you saved all of us … Jacob … Thank you …" Tali said as familiar tears carved a path down her cheeks.

Gazing at the final resting place of Jacob Taylor, soldier, hero, but most of all a true friend, the pair watched as Tali gathered her belongs. Touching her finger tip to her lips, she pressed it into the stone as she had done on countless occasions before uttering an unintelligible single word.

Removing his hand from her shoulder, Shepard watched with tired eyes as Tali departed. Remaining by Miranda's side as she stared at the empty expanse, Shepard assessed the situation and decided that this wasn't the time to discuss what he had tracked her down for. Accessing his omni-tool, he sent a message for her to read at a later date before turning to leave. Traveling a short distance away, he was interrupted by the shrill of a pleading voice, laced with emotion.

"Commander … How do you do it?"

Stopping as his heart bore the brunt of her words; he reached out for a set of comforting terms to utter to his former executive officer, but only managed to find the truth. Looking over his shoulder, he spoke in a subdued manner as his inner demons fought to be free.

"I … I don't Miranda … I can't … But maybe you can …" Shepard said before leaving Miranda's presence.

Turning her attention back to his final resting place, Miranda approached timidly before coming to a stop at his marker. Tracing the inscription in her mind, it had been many weeks since she had visited. During that time, she had made every effort to purge herself of him, but only became more lost as those she sought out never deadened the pain of her loss.

"Mr. Tay …" Miranda started as she recalled the last moments that transpired between them and the sacrifice he had made.

Flexing her hands into fists as she closed her eyes, she allowed the tranquility of this place to overtake her. Letting go, she spoke as tears flowed freely down her cheeks.

"Jacob … I … I lied to you, Jacob. I've done it so much, I should have been able to get it all by you, right? But you always could see through it, through me … No more lies …"

Reaching out towards the face of the stone, she traced her fingers over his name. Following the lettering with her slender fingertips, she took a que from Tali and touched her lips before returning her fingers to his name.

" … I love you Jacob … Please … Rest …"


	5. What I Know

**[A:N] Big thanks to my Beta Readers and all those who have contacted me as well as posted reviews. I appreciate it all, it has made writing these chapters that much more enjoyable. so please keep it up! Good, bad, etc. I appreciate it all! To those who have read this chapter already, I have made a change to make it a bit more clear what is happening in one scene. Tried something but it seemed to just cause confusing, so forgive me for that please. I also added a better background song that I think fits. Enjoy!**

* * *

"I don't understand, he said it would be right around here?" Ken bellowed as he tried to fully recall the instructions he had deleted in haste.

"And you had to go and _delete_ it right away, didn't you …" Gabby said with a hint of annoyance as she studied her surroundings.

"Aye … I just didn't figure you would be so distracting in your _getup_." He said with a smirk as he studied her figure more than what would be considered an acceptable timeframe.

"I wouldn't have to be this _distracting_ if _you_ didn't accidentally spill oil all over the rest of my clothes!" Gabby, frustrated at the state of her outfit, spoke quietly as she looked around while clutching at her dress that had long decided more of her legs needed to be shown than she was comfortable with.

"Who said I spilled it by accident?" His words drew an exasperated look from her as he grinned in response.

"But your right … I think I know where we are supposed to be now. Come on."

Grasping her hand as the pair moved down the walkway, they came to a stop at the entrance to a store that appeared as if it hadn't been open since the last cycle, save for the low hum of music blaring inside. It became further apparent however that this was a deliberate false impression when a stout human male opened the door. Looking over the duo as he reviewed his omni-tool, he gave a quick gaze outside before being interrupted.

_*Background Music: I Can't Quit You Baby, Otis Rush*_

"What do you think the electronic sentries are for … Let them in." The voice barked as the pair proceeded inside.

Moving towards the back of the room they passed several groups of people made up of differing organic species. As they passed each group as well as individuals passing by them, Gabby received more than a few agreeable stares and nods.

"See, I told ya you needn't worry las." Ken said at a whisper before drawing an elbow to his ribs as Gabby responded in-kind.

"Next time, you _wear_ it."

"I see you made it here okay … I was beginning to worry." The seated human male said as he motioned for the pair to join him, his words having a slight tinge of seriousness concerning their well-being.

Studying the man before her as Ken enjoyed a brief view of the ladies nearby to Gabby's chagrin; she noticed that his flesh had a deep tan to it, almost to the point of looking artificial. His eyes were of a similar hue to his skin tone. A distinct bleeding of the iris into the whiter portion of his left eye was present from an apparent injury based on his slight facial scarring on that side. Tracing back to his hairline, the scarring left a pattern of baldness that the rest of his shaved head attempted to match with some luck. Slightly muscular in build, his demeanor and shape gave off the appearance of possible combat background in contrast to Gabby and Ken's talents as engineers.

Looking over the two, he took a quick swig of his drink before gesturing for another round for the whole table. Returning his attention back to his guests, he quickly sized up Ken before focusing on Gabby.

"I thought you two were grease monkeys?" He said before grasping his refreshed glass and forcing its contents down his throat.

"Aye, we are … She just happens to moonlight for Sha'ira as a …" His words immediately cut off as Gabby interrupted.

"What do you want to know about our qualifications?"

"I take it you didn't order me something safe again, did you Manny?" A familiar turian said as he seated himself at the table before motioning for an appropriate refreshment.

"Nah … More fun to watch your reaction, _literally_." Manny's words drew a small chuckle from the Ken who was nudged immediately by Gabby in the ribs.

Looking at the pair of humans that the turian had brought to him, Manny studied them briefly before continuing their conversation.

"I read up on you two … You've done a few different stints from what I can see … Alliance, Cerberus, _Shepard_ … With the shit he pulled off, most people would feel in _awe_ right now just sitting here with your two."

Pausing as he took another drink from his cup, the human looked at the turian who nodded slightly in response before looking back at Gabby and Ken.

"I'm not …"

Confused at where this discussion was going, the two engineers briefly looked at each other before focusing on the human speaking again.

"Why should I or anyone else be? To me …" he said before turning his gaze to his turian companion briefly before continuing.

"And others, we stopped right at the gates of Hell and left a mess of demons still around before returning to our homes firmly patting ourselves on the backside."

"Aye …" Ken said in strong agreement as he downed his drink and gestured for a refill, drawing a slight grin from Manny.

"But just like when the Reapers were considered a myth, the galaxy has become complacent again. And worse …"

Turning his head briefly again he looked at his turian cohort whose countenance hardened at the next comment Manny spewed forth.

"There are those who welcome the evil that was left behind with open arms."

As if on cue, the turian spoke up as he gazed upon the pair before him that he had come to know during his days supervising their work at the docks.

"There is no grey area here … We destroy _them_ or we die, it's that simple."

Nodding in agreement with his words, Manny turned his head and looked at the twosome before him. Flowery speech had never been his strong suit; he preferred a more direct approach and proceeded with it.

"Are you two in?"

* * *

_*Background Music: In Time,Mark Collie*_

The contents of the bottle had long since been mostly absorbed into the table and floor leaving a peculiar residue that would resist future efforts in the elimination of its presence. Adding to the remains, a small puddle of sweat had formed adjacent to it as a tributary of sorts traced back toward the source. His head lying forlornly on a desk, new beads of sweat trickled slowly down his brow to join the miniature lagoon. His slumber would have remained undisturbed if it was not for the buzzing of an individual desiring entry into his private sanctum.

Slowly he raised his head, pausing momentarily as he caught a glimpse of his visage in the puddle before him. Distorted as his breath caused ripples to form, his image was a study in what too much liquor could do to a reaper-tech enhanced individual. As he continued to gaze upon his reflection, the image slowly turned from that of the first human spectre to one of his inner most desire, forever lost to him as fate would have it.

Her subtle smile staring back at him, his eyes traced her features as he had done physically many times before with his finger tips. Reaching towards the reflection he yearned for on more than one occasion, he was interrupted by an additional buzzing from the determined individual desiring entrance into his abode. Reluctantly swiping the pooling fluid from his desk, he ran his now wet fingers through his hair as he lightly grasped his forehead in a hope to relieve more than just the pounding sensation from the alcohol he had consumed.

"It never ends … does it?"

His words falling on the silence of the room, a response was given by another signal of the desire of a soul to enter his dwelling. Straightening himself up as he slowly poured a seldom drank serving of unlaced water, he sipped it lightly in a manner that gave off the impression that its contents were foul in comparison to his normal refreshments. His bodily thirst sated, if only for a little while, he focused his attention on his uninvited guest.

"This better be good … Enter!"

Responding to his command, the doors exposed his lodging to the entity desiring entrance. Moving slowly forward in an unsure manner, a petite figure presented itself before the Commander before speaking quietly in a familiar tone.

"I'm sorry to disturb you Shepard …"

Dumbfounded, Shepard took pains to not rise too quickly lest he startle his guest as well as lose his balance. Gesturing for his caller to proceed further into his home, he spoke reassuringly.

"No, you never have … I always … It's great to see you Tali …" he said before stopping abruptly.

_'Damn it, can't just say hello, can you Shepard …'_

The words already free of their verbal prison; he shook his head momentarily to clear himself of the thought that had forced its way forward. Moving towards the couch that he had spent many nights using as a substitute bed, he sat down as he motioned for Tali to join him. Taking the invitation as she nodded slightly in response, the young quarian promptly joined him as she fiddled with her omni-tool in an unsure manner.

Seeing that she had a concerned look on her face beyond what he felt his current state would cause in response, Shepard comfortingly placed his hand on her shoulder. The sensation of her skin beneath his fingertips caused him to momentarily relax his grasp.

"Hey … Is everything okay?"

_As his words barely had the opportunity to depart from his lips, he received a curt response laced with emotion._

_"Why did you do it?"_

_"Do wha …" Shepard started to say as he dropped his limb to his side before being interrupted as the clearly agitated quarian continued._

_"I thought something was wrong with my omni-tool … Everything time I would search for anything related to you …" She paused before quickly correcting herself._

_"… to the Normandy crew with it, it seemed as if certain information would not display … No, that's not what I meant. What I meant was that it was actually doctored."_

_A cool bead of sweat slowly coursed its way down Shepard's spine as he could only stare at the disturbed quarian, her frustrations twisting into his heart as if it was a dirk. Standing abruptly, Tali walked over to the armoire containing what amounted to Shepard's meager and unremarkable belongings, save for an odd holo-frame resting on it. Her hands rapidly fiddling with her omni-tool, her attention was slowly being drawn to the holo-frame before her as she spoke further._

_"So I went and tried to access more than a few information terminals as well as several VIs and noticed the same thing …"_

_"Tali, listen I … " His words were drowned out as the voice of the quarian in his abode slowly began to rise._

_"I sat down at the last VI I tried. For some reason, I decided to take a deeper look at my omni-tool. I guess I am not really tech savvy as I managed to break it … or so I thought … take a look …" She gestured in his direction in an almost pleading manner for him to view her evidence._

_*Background Music: Broken, Seether & Amy Lee*_

_Walking slowly over to where Tali was standing, Shepard lightly grasped her arm bearing the device as an image of the Normandy crew during a happier time was displayed. In a moment of true joy, the merriment of the proud crew was easily present. Adding to this, a certain quarian crew member was prominently displayed standing next to her captain, her slightly hidden suited hand intertwined with his in a tight grasp as he looked down at her with a heartfelt smile present on his face, oblivious to what cruel joke the future had in store for the couple._

_"Shepard … Who is she to you?" Tali said nervously as she began to fidget with her hands, the tone behind her words surprising not only herself but the target of them._

_Reaching out, Tali leaned her weight against the dresser as Shepard joined her, the holo-frame in-between them as a dividing line between the two once joined souls. Leaning forward as he clasped his hands together, he briefly stared off into his quarters as he contemplated an answer, any answer that would satisfy the inquisitive quarian as well as the state of flux in his soul._

_The words he wished to use he had promised would never be spoken in this life. It was an albatross he forced himself to bear in the belief that it was what was best for her sake. Turning to face Tali as his heart cried out to be free of the lie it was forced to endure, her gaze bore deeply down into his very core as he attempted to speak._

_"She … she is … was …" Shepard attempted to say as his speech broke._

_Upset at his weakness, Shepard forcefully pushed himself off the armoire as he walked into the expanse of his abode. As fate would have it, he forced the truth into being as the holo-frame tipped over in an attempt to leave it perch._

_Grasping it subconsciously to stop its descent, Tali pulled it up towards her as she noticed the pair in the photo, the Commander and a suited quarian locked in an embrace. Her suited figure was reminiscent of the quarian in the image of the Normandy crew she had discovered. As Tali studied the picture further, the association she had come to realize became further reinforced between the two._

_Moving her hand over the image as the couple appeared to stare back at her, her extended finger brushed lightly against a somewhat raised section of the frame. Suddenly, the image changed, revealing the face behind the helmet. In shock, Tali dropped the holo-frame causing it crashed loudly on the ground._

_His attention immediately drawn to the noise, Shepard subconsciously knew what had just been revealed. Reaching out towards her, Tali recoiled from him as confusion set in._

_"I … I don't understand … that, that's me! That was … we … we were …" Her words rushed from her as her breathing became labored and her balance faltered._

_"Tali!" Shepard yelled as he ran to her side, grasping her as she fell over._

_Moving her to the ground as he clutched her caringly, he ran his hand over her cheek as she stared up at him._

_"I don't …" Tali started to say before he interrupted._

_"I know …"_

_Grasping her hand tightly as she moved it up to his face, he held it in place before allowing her to caress his brow before intertwining her fingers with his._

_"I've wanted nothing more than to …" Shepard attempted to say before having the favor returned to him as Tali's eyes focused on his._

_"I know …"_

_Suddenly, her body began to convulse as a pained look of pure terror came upon her face._

_"Get away from me! Help!" Tali screamed as a flood of images of a past life's final moments came rushing in, destroying whatever emotions she felt previously._

_"Tali! Calm down! I'm here!" Shepard yelled as he grasped at her arms to hold her still, lest she injure herself as she violently tried to escape._

_Using what strength he possessed that was already draining from him, he grasped her tightly to his chest as she flailed in response. Her fingers gashing out fresh masses of flesh from his face and neck as his blood covered both of them. In her horror, his wounds healed before her eyes as she continued to struggle._

_"What are you!" She shrieked as she fought with all her being to be free of his grasp._

_"Tali I'm not going to hurt you!" He forcefully yelled in a monotone manner as his pleas fell on deaf ears._

_Out of the blue a loud crash was heard from the direction of the entrance. Rushing forward, several armored figured charged in. Unaware of their intentions, Shepard rose and met the perceived aggressors with force. Lashing out with all the pain and fury his heart held at his lot in life, he immediately knocked back two of his foes, their bodies crashing into the walls behind them. Recoiling with fear into the nearest corner, Tali wailed as her brain was further racked by clouded images of figures attempting to assault her._

_"We're here to …" One of the intruders started to yell as he lunged at Shepard before behind dropped with a swift biotically enhanced strike to his spine as he clutched Sheppard's torso._

_Free of the person attempting to restrain him, he charged towards the group that had gathered around Tali before being knocked to the floor by an intercepting aggressor. Momentarily pinned to the floor by his obviously skilled assailant, Shepard used his rage-enforced biotics to propel himself and his attacker towards the ceiling, knocking the wind out of him._

_Rolling over into a dominant position on top, Shepard attempted to once again make his way towards the shrieking quarian before a set of talons grasped him firmly. His anger overflowing, Shepard drew his omni-blade. Reinforced by biotic energy he proceeded to strike at his foe before being restrained by an unseen force._

_"Shepard get off of him!" Miranda loudly ordered as she focused all her energy in restraining him._

_His vision distorted with biotic energy, it slowly cleared revealing his assailant, Garrus. Bloodied from his encounter with the Commander, he held firm as Miranda moved to Shepard's side._

_"We're here to help you! Dammit Shepard, withdraw!" Miranda ordered again as she struggled to maintain her biotic lock on him._

_His vision clearing slowly as the calm started to slowly return to him, Shepard turned his attention to Tali's direction as he saw Kasumi rushing to her side. Grasping her tightly, she attempted to console her with little effect. Meeting his stare, Kasumi nodded slowly at him with thinly veiled frustration laced in her gaze._

_Releasing his turian captive, Shepard stood up as Miranda withdrew to join Kasumi in stabilizing their former quarian shipmate. Tali's primal screams reverberated loudly throughout his room, chilling Shepard to his core. Frozen in place as the horror before him unfolded, Garrus rose and stood beside Shepard. Examining his jaw, the former scourge of the criminals on Omega felt it creak as he adjusted it back and forth._

_"You still pack quite a punch Shepard …" Garrus croaked towards the human spectre._

_Ignoring his turian friend's words, Shepard could only focus on the terror that his former quarian bondmate was experiencing as she writhed on the floor._

_He had seen many horrors in his time. The universe was filled with it own form of perversions of pain that manifest themselves in various forms, including that of the Reapers. But now, faced with this terror that Tali was experiencing based on his failure to protect her, even if the truth was far different than what he believed, the courage and strength he possessed which overcame the destruction of advanced life in the galaxy was miniscule to what Shepard needed now more than ever._

_Seeing that Shepard was in no state of mind to focus on the injuries he had inflicted on him, Garrus grasped the Commander's shoulder firmly._

_"You remember what I told you Shepard?"_

_Digging his talons firmly into the Commander's shoulder as his clutch drew blood, Shepard didn't wince._

_"Do you, Shepard?" His words twisting in tone as his grip intensified._

_The pain becoming intense enough to finally reach the Commander at a primal level, Shepard turned rapidly towards Garrus direction only to be greeted by the visage of a turian foe long dead, but whose spirit was ever-living._

_"I told you, Shepard - She's mine!"_

_"John!" Tali screamed as she was engulfed by a compliment of husks before a blinding light took him._

"Commander? Commander!" The young female ensign bellowed at the shrieking spectre, lost in a deep slumber.

Rising immediately as the voice penetrated his delusion, Shepard sprung forward with his pistol drawn. Pinning down the unlucky soul who had awoken him, the Commander seethed with rage, his breathing was deep and forced.

"Commander Shepard!"

Her wails drew the rest of the heavily armed and armored soldiers present in the transport to her aid. Surrounding the Commander as his breathing began to slowly return to normal, Shepard's gaze was unwavering as his finger danced repeatedly on the trigger mechanism. The force of his hand pressing down on the ensign's head slowly began to recede even though the pistol did barrel did not.

Moving through the surrounding crowd of troops, a large similarly equipped figure came forward. Turning his helmeted head towards a fellow soldier standing next to him, he briefly spoke as his voice tinged with artificialness from the amplifiers present.

"I told you the name fit."

Moving towards Shepard, he reached down with his broad hand, offering assistance. Shifting his eyes rapidly around his surroundings before focusing again on his quarry, Shepard relaxed his aim. Seeing that the gesture was non-threatening, Shepard grasped it as he was pulled to his feet. Sensing an opportunity to escape from her predicament, the ensign scooted away from the pair into the perceived safety of the crowd. Removing his helmet, the muscular soldier extended his hand outwards, receiving a firm grasp in return from Shepard.

"Good to see you again, _Loco_."


	6. The Levodex

It had been several days since the incident that had brought him into contact with James Vega again had transpired. Reminiscing with him about old times was a welcome respite even if it was under circumstances that, at best, were less than ideal.

Sipping lightly on the drink Shepard had James procure for him against _unofficial_ orders in contradiction of the thirst he possessed, he found no joy in its flavor which accurately mirrored the state of soul. Reviewing the crew compliment he had been provided with, the dejected leader paused briefly as he thought of different times on the Normandy where the Commander actively searched for crewmates with the talents all advanced life needed to save the galaxy.

'_How shit changes …'_

Even his mission reflected a shift in what had become the norm during the Reaper threat. Leaning back into his chair he enjoyed a brief respite as he closed his eyes. An uneasy slumber overtook the Commander as he reflected on what had led him to this current state of affairs.

_* Couple weeks after the assault on Admiral Raan *_

"_Commander."_

"_I was told you had an urgent matter to discuss with me, Admiral,__" Shepard said as he stood at what the Alliance military called parade rest while viewing the holographic image._

"_Commander, I had hoped this wouldn't have become necessary given all the uniting you did of the various species in the galaxy –"_

"_You mean the victory lap is already over, Admiral?" Shepard interrupted with a rare moment of jest drawing a small chuckle from Admiral Hackett._

"_I would have called it a small fast sprint at best Commander based on how quick it seems to be unraveling … We have word that one of our outer colonized planets is seeing increased unrest." Admiral Hackett said with a slight gravity in his voice concerning the situation._

"_Isn't that common now with how badly our forces were depleted in the final push?"_

_His perception of the situation was shared among more than just the higher echelons of the various militaries and political bodies in the galaxy. The defeat of the Reapers united the galaxy in theory, but the oldest of evils, the lust to impose order through force, was unleashed in the chaos that followed. Hamstrung by the need to stabilize the most critical planets first, those outside of this designation were left to fend for themselves and suffer the consequences._

"_Yes, and that is where we need your help. Have you heard of the pro-organic movement?"_

_Admiral Hackett's inquiry was at best a rhetorical question. The Citadel had been graced on more than one occasion by graffiti supporting the *Ganics* as they had been come to be labeled. The Admiral was also privy to the assault on Admiral Raan of the quarian-geth delegation that left the assailants lifeless. Given the nature of the epithets spewed, it was felt in many circles that the two were related._

"_Nutball organics who view all synthetic life as a threat … Does that about sum it up?"_

"_Yes. Despite the sacrifices that the geth made along with the rest of us in destroying the Reapers, old prejudices die hard and the planet in question is experiencing the brunt of it. The zeal of those in charge of this group are taking a__ 'with us or against us' approach. We don't want the situation to get out of hand more than it already is Commander, which is why we need your help."_

_Rubbing his forehead as he contemplated Admiral Hackett's words, the weary soldier allowed his doubts to escape his lips._

"_Why me?"_

"_I won't lie to you Shepard, you weren't my first choice on this one. The reports on your activities of late … Frankly Commander, you're a mess. But regardless of what I think, it wasn't my decision to make."_

_Chuckling briefly at the Admiral's comment, Shepard responded._

"_Always nice to have a vote of confidence from you, Admiral."_

"_I am sending over the specifics of the mission via secure channels. Pick-up in forty-eight hours, Hackett out."_

"Do you have a moment Commander?" the feminine voice guardedly inquired.

Drawn out of his musings, Shepard looked up at the ceiling of his quarters before focusing on the ensign before him.

She was thinner than what he was used to seeing in female Alliance officers. Her attire appeared to be a combination of both heavy and light armor variations with extensive shield emitters followed by slightly more elaborate markings than a massed produced setup. It was obvious that whoever had outfitted her had spent some serious credits to do it.

Staring down at him with a set of extremely light colored blue eyes, her skin was smooth and slightly pale in color with raised cheek bones and thin lips. Flaxen hair accented with apparently naturally occurring blonde strands bobbed just below her chin line, completing her features.

Rising up to meet the inquiry, Shepard came from behind his desk and stood adjacent to her before responding.

"Sure. What do you have on your mind Ensign –"

"Cordova. Ensign Penelope Cordova, Sir." She said followed immediately by a crisp salute, bumping the Commander in the process.

Smiling briefly at the situation, Shepard returned the gesture without the physical contact as the young officer turned a brighter shade of red.

"Usually it's not a good idea to _strike_ your commanding officer, Ensign Cordova." Shepard said as he extended his hand which was rapidly grasped by the clearly embarrassed officer.

Motioning for her to follow him, Shepard proceeded out of his quarters into the hallway. Walking at a slight leisurely pace, the pair came to a catwalk overlooking a series of transports and a view of outer space. Leaning against the railing with its bars firmly pressed into his lower back, he signaled for the ensign to join him. Taking up position immediately across from the Commander, Ensign Cordova mimicked Shepard's posture against the railing.

A comfortable silence built between the two as the hum of the various workings of the ship and crew commentary, mostly profane, provided background noise. Sensing that his female companion was waiting for him to speak, he obliged the unspoken request.

"What's on your mind Ensign –"

"You can call me Penny if you like – Sorry Commander, bad habit of mine." Penny apologized rapidly as she mentally kicked herself for interrupting him.

Sensing her predicament, Shepard decided to lighten the mood.

"As long as you don't start reciting poetry …" The Commander paused as he thought of Ashley Williams.

His countenance dropping slightly, Shepard continued.

"I take it James hasn't come up with a nickname for you yet?" His words drew a small chuckle out of her.

"Yes, he _has._ Unfortunately, _Scoots_ is not something I want to go by."

"_Scoots_?" Shepard inquired with a hint of confusion.

"On account of me _scooting_ out of the way after the incident earlier – Sir."

Studying his memory as he stared at Penny, his remembrance focused on what had happened earlier between them. The image of the pistol pressed to her flesh was immediately followed by that of the imprint the barrel had left on her fair skin as he withdrew.

"Sorry about that Ensign, I didn't –"

"It's okay Commander, I shouldn't have disturbed you. The briefing we were given mentioned – " Penny trailed off abruptly, her rambling purposely left unfinished.

Seeing that this tidbit of information was something she was trying to avoid, Shepard made a mental note to take this issue up with her or James later. Focusing on what had originally been the reason of her disturbing him, he spoke.

"What was it you wanted to see me about, Penny? And please, call me Shepard."

"Alright. _Shepard_. I wanted to familiarize you with the crew and this ship if you have a moment."

Nodding in response, Shepard followed her as she began to describe the various sections of the ship and duty stations of the crew. Each set of locations was mundane save for the somewhat interesting dialog between several of the crew concerning the state of the galaxies gambling establishments until he came across the engineering deck.

As Penny described some of the features of this area, his thoughts were drawn to the Normandy; the site of happier times despite the danger the galaxy faced and the quarian engineer who was the catalyst for them.

"Shepard?" Penny quietly inquired as the she observed the back of the Commander who was lost in thought as he faced one of the consoles currently vacated by a senior engineer.

Seeing that her words had gone unheeded, the Ensign turned her attention to a member of the crew who motioned towards her with an apparent question. Briefly looking back at Shepard as the engineer relayed her misgivings about power coupling irregularities, Penny drew a hint of concern as she watched the Commander reach out to the console before balling up his hand in a firm grip; a light flicker of biotic energy escaping his fist.

"Is everything alright Commander?"

'_Alright … yeah, sure …'_

Pausing briefly as the thought echoed through his mind, Shepard responded verbally.

"I need to speak with James … Inform the ground crew, inspection in one hour, full readiness." Shepard bellowed in a low manner before exiting engineering.

Staring at each other as they watched Shepard rapidly depart, Penny was at a loss for words as the doors shut behind him.

* * *

"Why did he leave?" the inquisitive quarian asked as she sat still in front of the female human.

His departure was not made with any fanfare nor was a reason provided to most of those who were still his friends. His absence was as if a thief in the night had come and took him. Not that his actual presence had been recently felt by her. Shepard had effectively fallen off the map when it came to being around Tali. Even though the true cause of his departure was not known to Tali, Kasumi knew what the driving force behind his decision was as she slowly brushed the quarian's hair. Answering with the only the words she could, she spoke quietly to the sound of the bristles rustling through her locks.

"Because he had to …"

Continuing with her task, she knew that this was not the end of the discussion. As if on cue, Tali chimed in.

"But he never came to say goodbye … Why?"

Dumbfounded at the directness of her question, Kasumi found herself at a loss for words. Thinking quickly for an answer that could potentially satisfy Tali's inquiry, Kasumi came up with the best answer she could muster but was cutoff prior to giving her response.

"Did I do something wrong?" Tali said as she fidgeted with her hands.

Seeing this, Kasumi spoke in a consoling manner as she lightly ran her fingers through Tali's hair.

"Sometimes, it's easier for us to not say it, even though we want nothing more than to. With what Shep has been through Tali, I don't think he wants to say goodbye to anyone ever again."

Standing up, Tali clasped her hands together in an attempt to cease their movement. Gripping them together tightly, their motion ceased. Reaching out to Kasumi who had now joined her by standing up, the pair embraced in a heart-felt hug.

"I'll see you later." Tali said as she departed Kasumi's room as Garrus came through the front entrance.

"Hey Tali." His words drew a nod from his quarian ward before he proceeded into his quarters, shutting the door behind him.

Removing the entrapments that protected him from injury and death, Kasumi came to his side to assist with the more difficult pieces of his turian armor. Free of its entanglements, Kasumi put it aside in its usual location. Motioning with an extended arm, the pair proceeded towards the front of their dwelling. Pausing briefly as she raised her hood, Kasumi spoke as Tali stood at the entrance to her room.

"We'll be back later, _date_ _night_ you know …" The former thief's words drew a slight giggle from the quarian as her turian date rolled his eyes.

Heading through the entrance, the pair walked at a slightly fast pace before slowing down. Grasping Garrus hand within hers, Kasumi spoke.

"Did you find out anything?"

"Yes and no." The cryptic response was not what she had expected from him.

Continuing their pace in silence they reached their destination, a ruckus restaurant that catered to dextro-levo couples; it was even present in the establishment's name, _The_ _Levodex, Restaurant and Bar_.

Its entrance led to a section of tables and chairs with a special code assigned to the individual who was seated there. Every food item was cross referenced to the limitations of the individual and triple-checked for safety. Past these trappings was a dance floor of sorts bracketed by the bar area. Quaint in size compared to the massive clubs present around the Citadel, it had become _their_ place to unwind together.

Following the scantily clad asari waitress to their table, Garrus as usual drew a few interested looks from the small amount of single human females as well as asari present. His implants also drew another form of attention at times from those who fought the Reapers head-on and recalled the horror of the organics fused with their technology. His presence had given rise to what Kasumi referred to as _Garrus Space,_ a practice where patrons would suddenly leave there seats for ones further away from him.

As time passed, the pair had viewed it positively since they were now able to get seats almost anywhere with plenty of private room to talk. This time was no different.

"You still got it _Gary_, maybe we should hit up a _Ganics_ party and clear the joint." Kasumi commented as she signaled for the waitress to bring her a large plate of ramen, literally.

Amused at the comment as well as the gesture Kasumi had made with her hands, Garrus caught the glimpse of a human female and two asari giggling at Kasumi's motion. Smiling at them, he gave a cocky nod in an attempt to confirm what he believed they thought Kasumi was referring to.

"Hey! I am right here you know!" Kasumi said with her best attempt to feign angst.

"Nothing wrong with me seeing if I still got it ... You don't want to be the only pretty girl with a scarred up turian no one else wants, do you?" Garrus quipped in response as their drink order arrived.

"No, I am just the only one with a walking street light …" Her words drawing causing the pair to grin simultaneously.

"So, now that you have _buttered_ me up _Gary_, are you finally going to tell me what you found out?" Kasumi said as their food arrived.

Grasping her chopsticks immediately, she began to shovel in the noodles in a manner that would make a drunken krogan proud. Garrus had taken pains to enjoy the spectacle that his mate usually put on with her ramen and proceeded to join her at a somewhat more respectable pace with his food.

"Try not to eat any of the wood on those sticks if that's what they are made of." He joked as she looked up at him.

"You're just mad that you can't figure these out. _Amazing_ with any weapon but give him chopsticks and my turian would _starve_ to death." Kasumi retorted, drawing laughter from Garrus.

"So, are you now going to tell me what's happening with Shep?"

Leaning forward, Garrus took another swig of his drink. Gesturing to his mate, she leaned in as well before he spoke.

"I was able to find out that he left on a transport that had a flight manifest that officially does not exist. No records of it arriving, departing … nothing." Garrus said before leaning back in his chair.

Confused, Kasumi waited for more information to be forthcoming, but was met only with the low bass hum of the music in the background joined by various conversations being had by the patrons of the place. Taking another bite of the ever-diminishing ramen that were present in her bowl, Kasumi looked at Garrus who scanned the restaurant silently. Annoyed, she spoke.

"That's it? That's all you found out?"

"I didn't say that …" Garrus said as he continued his scanning of the crowd before coming to a stop as he focused on a turian male speaking with an asari he was apparently trying to pick up.

Nodding at the individual as if he knew him, Kasumi turned to see what he was paying attention to before finalizing her meal with the last bit of ramen left. Circling her bowl for another morsel of ramen, she came up empty. Looking at her plate that was devoid of the noodles she craved, Kasumi traced the inside of her mouth with her tongue.

"I still think it had more pop to it during the war." She said as she had on numerous occasions to Garrus' chagrin.

His attention still on the turian in the distance, Kasumi became annoyed.

"You know, I thought ogling me or some scantily clad asari was your thing? I guess I better find out what the whole fuss is about!"

Realizing instantly what his mate had planned to do, Garrus reached out for her but it was too late as she disappeared from his sight. Standing up with enough force that he knocked his chair over, he started to walk over to the turian but was too slow, Kasumi had beaten Garrus to him.

De-cloaking, she stood in between the turian and the asari causing the asari to leave.

"I'm sorry, I just had to know what it was my turian mate was so _enthralled_ by. To be honest, you _are_ kind of cute, but as you can see by my rapidly approaching walking _light_ _show_ here, I got a thing for turians with scars." Kasumi playfully said as the turian groaned.

Arriving at the table that he had previously been focusing on, Garrus' face became serious as the pair stared at each other. Sensing the uncomfortable air between the two, Kasumi tried to defuse the situation.

"Look … I was only joking guys –" She said before being cut off by Garrus.

"Unfortunately, I'm not. What are you doing here, _Sidonis_."


	7. The Promise

**[A|N]: Thank you to those who have stuck with this story. I hope to have better update times in the future and am most thankful to those who have helped in the past, even if they can't in the future.**

* * *

"Were you able to plant the bug?" Manny inquired as he leaned against a wall below the entrance to the embassies, a cigarette slowly burning in his free hand that he seldom partook of.

"We managed to gain access through the duct work … a real pain in the ass." Gabby responded as she made her way out of the ducts.

"Aye, _ass_ is the key word here Manny." Kenneth said as he followed Gabby out of the cramped enclosure with a wide grin on his face.

Chuckling at the colorful comment, Manny responded as he took a drag on what remained.

"Good job you two. I take it Kenneth you _volunteered_ to follow Gabby the whole way in and out?" Manny's comment drew an annoyed look from Gabby as she stared in Kenneth's direction.

"_What_?" His singular utterance was the only comment that Kenneth could muster in response to her gaze.

"This should give us some idea of what those soulless bastards are up to in there without alerting them as well as those flesh traitors. Good job. I'll be in touch." Manny said before ending his transmission.

Confirming that their communication devices were disabled, Gabby and Kenneth made their getaway on foot in silence. The location they chose to make their silent assault had provided more than adequate cover from detection. After several minutes of hush between the pair, Kenneth turned his head towards Gabby as they continued to walk before speaking up.

"I think we –" He started to say before being cut off by a fuming engineer.

"Dammit Ken! Why can't you take this seriously?!"

"Sorry _lass_, its part of my cover." Kenneth said in a jovial manner, apparently unfazed by the venom in Gabby's words.

"Is part of your _cover_ taking every moment you get to _objectify_ me? It's bad enough that _you_ do it but now you got Manny in on the act."

Grinning at the frustration that his companion was relaying, Kenneth Donnelly could only respond in the manner that was known as _Classic Ken_.

"Aye. Besides, it's your fault."

Confused, Gabby spat her response without pausing.

"And how you figure that _asshole_?"

Smiling widely, Kenneth answered her inquiry.

"You _chose_ to go in first."

His response was followed by a moment of silence as Gabby stared at him. Suddenly, it was broken by joint laughter from the pair at the situation. Composing herself, Gabby spoke with a more agreeable tone.

"What am I going to do with you – Don't answer that." Gabby said, quickly cutting her initial sentence off as she saw the devilish grin that Kenneth was giving her as he attempted to raise his hand.

The plan had gone off without much fanfare. They had been advised by Manny that the group wanted to monitor all communications that were taking place in the geth occupied portion of the embassies. From there previous travels with Legion combined with their experiences serving with Tali on the Normandy, the pair had become familiar with techniques at preventing detection of listening devices from the geth as well as picking up their transmissions. Placing the devices in as many inconspicuous locations as could be found, it was highly unlikely that they would be discovered.

Continuing their walk, the pair came to a halt at their normal duty station. Seeing that the turian foreman was not present, Gabby and Kenneth proceeded to start their normal routine while discussing the events of the day.

"Do you believe what Manny said?" Gabby inquired as Kenneth yanked on a stuck power relay for the transport that had been their primary repair focus over the last few days.

"I don't know lass. If I was pinned down to give an answer, _no, _I don't. But we need to make it that he believes we do." Kenneth said as searched for a wrench he had just dropped.

Moving towards him, Gabby located the tool and handed it back to him. Looking around briefly, she spoke with a hushed voice as Kenneth proceeded back to the transport to continue the repairs.

"I don't like this Kenneth. Bailey had us rig the devices so he could pick up the transmissions as well. Just _seems_ wrong ..." Her words caused Kenneth to nod in agreement.

"Aye, I agree. I just hope we can –" His words were abruptly cut-off as Gabby punched him in the ribs causing the power relay he was holding to drop down on his head.

"_Bloody Hell_! _Woman_ you trying to kill me?" Kenneth shouted as he came to Gabby's side.

"I sure hope not, we need more people like you." The turian foreman said in response to Kenneth's outburst.

"Everything go as planned you two?" The turian inquired drawing a puzzled look from the pair before Kenneth answered.

"I would have thought Manny would have told you? "

"I still really don't know what we are going to gain by bugging the geth other than when they speak with some of the flesh races. But Manny keeps a lot of things _close to his chest_ as you primates say. Sometimes it's because he wants it that way, other times, his inner demons take over. Anyway, with you two being here I'll assume it went off without a hitch and get the details from him later. Good job."

Leaving the pair of grease monkeys to their task, the turian preceded to his office which was nothing more than a chair and terminal. Seeing that he was out of sight, Kenneth turned on one of his favorite _noise makers_ as he liked to call it. The device was nothing more than an older power field analyzer that had several components loose. It provided sufficient background noise to mask the discussions they had as well as made a comfortable stool in a pinch. Sitting down on the device, Kenneth procured two beers from his hidden stash and tossed one to Gabby.

"So what you make of _that_ just now?" He asked her as she leaned against the transport.

Looking around, Gabby stared at the location still housing significant amounts of refugees in deplorable conditions at best. This stood in stark contrast to the splendor of the upper levels where those fortunate enough to be graced with wealth lived. The unification of all peoples during the struggle against the Reapers had fallen on deaf ears to the realities of what remained after their defeat.

"I don't know Ken. Nothing is ever just _black and white_, is it?"

"Aye lass, it never is." Kenneth said in response as he took a swig from the can.

Satisfied with the amount he had taken in, he continued.

"These _Ganics_ types are more than just a bunch of mish-mash words on a banner to be paraded about. They are made up of those who be broken by what the Reapers had done. Aye, I could see _anyone_ becoming one if pushed enough."

His words drew a curious look from Gabby as she lightly sipped on her drink. Usually she had to wait for several of these beers to be emptied before he would get this deep in his response.

"So what are you saying Ken? That you agree with them?"

"No, I am not saying that _woman_. But I can understand what can drive someone to the extremes that they are going to."

Nursing her drink as Kenneth grasped another out of the cooler he had jury-rigged, Gabby contemplated his words briefly before responding.

"So what do you think it was that caused Manny to become what he is? I mean, he seems like an okay guy."

"You got your _eyes_ on the fellow. Is that it now _lass_?" Kenneth's words drew a swift look of exasperation from her.

Seeing that his attempt at a moment of humor was not having the effect that he was hoping for, Kenneth took another deep drink of his beer. Her inquiry would go unanswered as the pair both knew what the common driving force was behind most people's hatred of anything not organic. Satisfied with the amount he had consumed as well as with the current status of the repairs that had been done, Kenneth motioned for the pair to depart.

"We'll finish this up tomorrow. How about we paint the place _red_ tonight?"

"And how are we supposed to do that, _asshole_! I still haven't replaced all the stuff you ruined when you spilled oil all over my clothes!" Gabby said with a non-serious attempt at showing anger.

Smiling devilishly at her, Kenneth gave a well formulated response that fit with his _Classic Ken_ persona.

"Who said anything about wearing clothes?"

* * *

Time appeared to stand still as the pair stared at each other before the target of the venom-laced words spoke.

"I know I am the last person you want to see Garrus –" Sidonis said as he attempted to fill two glasses with a strong intoxicating liquid before being cut off by his former leader and friend.

Reaching out in Sidonis' direction, the turian blighted by the Reaper-tech cursing through his body angrily grasped the twosome of glasses that were being filled mid-stream.

"And yet you are here. I don't want any attempts from _you_ at _pleasantries_, just answer my _fucking_ question, Sidonis. Why Are You Here?!" His voicing rising in volume caused Kasumi to step back apprehensively from the turian duo as well as drawing stares from other patrons of the bar.

Grasping the glass he intended for himself firmly, Sidonis pulled it from Garrus grip and forced down the contents. Slamming the glass back down on the table, he shook his head as the familiar burn ran the length of his gullet. Savoring briefly the sensation as he momentarily shut his eyes, he was greeted by the gaze of friend he betrayed long ago when he reopened them.

Many words that he had wanted to use passed through Sidonis' mind as he stared at Garrus, but only two short sentences came forth from his mouth.

"To help. I know where Shepard is."

Dumbfounded initially as for what to do Kasumi reached for her mate's free hand. Grasping it firmly in a manner intended to calm his anger it didn't have the desired effect. Seeing this, Kasumi, reached with her other appendage and grasped Garrus' upper arm as she pulled herself closer to his side. Moving her head closer to his, she spoke softly but with enough volume that Sidonis could hear her words.

"Garrus … please, hear him out." Kasumi's words caused Garrus to flex his grip on her hand before relaxing.

Raising up the glass that Sidonis had poured him, he drank the contents rapidly before slamming down the empty container. Gesturing towards Sidonis with a nod, he poured another round that the pair downed together before pushing the glasses aside in unison. The spectacle drew a confused look from Kasumi. Seeing this out of the corner of his eye, Garrus spoke while maintaining his stare at Sidonis.

"Something we used to do as team after every mission on Omega …" Garrus' words trailed off as Sidonis nodded in response as he met Garrus' stare in-kind.

"Yeah … every mission … You called in a lot of favors recently, one of them lead to me." Sidonis' words trailed off as his thoughts drifted to comrades long since dead by his lack of strength.

"Go on." Garrus said as he maintained his icy gaze at the turian who betrayed him long ago.

"Word was out that you were looking for information on that transport that docked not too long ago here. I've been working the docks –" Sidonis stopped abruptly, unsure of the implications of what he had just said.

"Let me guess, you aren't talking about loading cargo, _are you_?" Garrus said with an indicting tone.

"I shake down those who are above the law … I give what I get back to the refugees in the Wards." Sidonis responded.

"A regular _Robin Hood _now –" Garrus sarcastically said in response to the ire of his cloaked companion.

"Garrus …" Kasumi chastisingly said as she tightened her grip on his hand momentarily.

"_Right_ … Go on." The blighted turian said to Sidonis who continued.

"Anyway, during one of these shake downs I was in the docking bay as an unmarked transport came in. I thought it was bringing in some cargo for the scum I was working over so I made my way inside. To my surprise though there wasn't anything of value, or, so I thought until I reviewed the data I had pulled from the ships computer."

Activating his omni-tool, Sidonis sent over data to both Garrus and Kasumi.

"Here, take a look."

Simultaneously reviewing what was sent, Kasumi gasped at the same time as Garrus' expression iced over. Looking up at Sidonis, the battle-hardened turian spoke firmly.

"We don't have lots time or much to go on."

Nodding in acknowledgement, Sidonis' countenance rose slightly while he responded.

"No, we don't."

Finishing her review of the data as she rapidly typed on her omni-tool, Kasumi joined in.

"I'll get a transport prepped and ready for when we have a set destination. In the mean time, _play nice _boys." She said in a somewhat lighthearted manner before activating her cloak and disappearing from view.

Garrus nodded in acknowledgement as his view stayed focused on Sidonis. A brief uneasy silence followed between the former friends before Sidonis spoke up.

"There is more to this than what appears. I think we are just scratching the surface."

Nodding again, Garrus retorted.

"Agreed."

"Listen Garrus, I know you have no reason to trust me, but let me help you on this, see what else I can find out." The once-trusted turian said as Garrus stroked his mandibles while contemplating a response.

"Okay. Just make sure you don't get too far down the _rabbit hole_ before reporting back."

Leaving the table, Sidonis moved rapidly through the crowd before reaching the entrance to the _Levodex_. Pausing briefly before exiting the establishment, Sidonis took one final look at the turian who had spared his life when he fully deserved death. Unaware of Sidonis' gaze upon him, Garrus poured another shot of the strong brandy before clanging his glass to the empty one on the table.

Seeing this, Sidonis reminisced briefly about happier times on Omega when a similar seating would have been filled with the sounds of merriment from the comrades he condemned to death by his treachery. Leaving through the doors, a singular musing echoed through his mind.

'_I promise Garrus, I'll make it up to you, somehow …'_

His companions both gone, Garrus remained alone at the table with his thoughts keeping him company.

He incessantly swirled the contents of the glass he had refreshed after ingesting its contents. Churning with each revolution that it made, the liquid accurately reflected the state of the former Normandy crew member's mind as he contemplated what he had learned. Ironically, the traitor Garrus had intended to kill before Shepard stopped him was now in a position to return the favor.

_*Background Music: Far Behind, Candlebox*_

'_It all comes down to our choice, doesn't it Shepard?'_

Looking at the glass in his hand, Garrus focused his eyes on the fluid as it made its circuit around the innards of its container. As it crashed over itself repeatedly a distant memory came forth.

"_Yeah, I told her once it was a buyer's market. Good thing she had that old admiral status backing her claim." Shepard said, drawing a deep laugh from his turian friend._

"_I guess it also doesn't hurt to be one of the most revered quarians in the galaxy either …Have you seen the fan clubs for her out there, and I am just talking about the turian ones … I still think though you got some royalties from the vids they are making that you haven't told me about." Garrus bantered back._

_Chuckling at the thought, Shepard continued to down pitcher of beer that he was treating as a common glass. Crudely running his forearm over his lips to wipe the residue that had managed to avoid being consumed, Shepard activated his omni-tool and sent over several vids and images he had a surveyor take on Rannoch of Tali's claim._

"_You see that second vid? The way the waves crash on the beach, really something to see. I want to build it so she can wake up to that every morning. And over there may be a target range so I can show you up when you visit." The effects of the brew becoming apparent as his words had a slightly slurring to them._

"_Now I know you're drunk." Garrus said with a laugh before continuing._

"_Tell me something Shepard, you really okay with settling down like this?"_

_Looking at the friend he had come to deeply respect and value, Shepard's face took on a serious look before he responded._

"_Fair question … I'm a killer Garrus. I have been that for the better part of my life. Death, destruction … It's been all I have known for so long now …" Shepard said as he gaze became distant._

_Several agonizing seconds of silence passed before Shepard continued._

"_Tali's father once promised to build her a house on the home world. In his own way Rael wanted to show her what she meant to him and did what he could to keep that promise. I wanted to do the same once but never really understood the importance of it. I guess I treated it as something trivial. But since we have been together now that the war is over, I know that what she really deserves is not just some building on Rannoch, but truly a home."_

_Pausing again but this time briefly, Shepard let his words sink in before continuing._

"_And it's what I want – No, that's not right. It's what I need Garrus, too …"_


	8. For Love, I Left Your Side

**[A|N] Sorry for the delay, I hope the following helps to make up for it. To my prime reader, thank you for all your hard work, I couldn't have done this without you ...**

* * *

"What are you trying to say Admiral Xen? You saw all the data up till now, it was working!" Admiral Raan said loudly as the tension in her voice grew.

Oblivious to this fact, Admiral Xen responded as the holographic projection of Admiral Raan flickered before the members of the quarian delegation in attendance.

"We are not sure. I agree that the geth technology on face value _appeared_ to be working in the test subjects, but these latest results have been most … unfortunate."

Using every effort to contain her anger that had been slowly building, Admiral Raan coolly replied to the fellow senior officer as most of quarian delegation listened in silence.

"The deaths of over one hundred of our people are not something I would describe as _unfortunate, Admiral."_

Bothered by the mere fact that she was involved in this discussion, Admiral Xen crossed her arms over her chest. Cocking her head slightly to the side in a sign of pure annoyance with the whole proceedings, she proceeded to berate the fellow admiral.

"You're right of course, _Admiral Raan_. We should not view their sacrifices in such a light manner, especially since they took the ultimate leap of faith-"

"Without taking that leap admiral, we will never move beyond the sins of the past. Wouldn't you agree, ambassador?" Admiral Koris bellowed as he interrupted the rant that Admiral Xen was spewing.

Standing next to the quarian admiral who was known for his sympathies towards the synthetic creations of his people, was the geth prime unit who headed its delegation. Rapidly assessing the situation, the sentient platform addressed the organics in the room.

"The geth believe that a future is possible for both synthetics and organics to live in peace." The synthetic ambassador said as it followed Admiral Koris further into the room.

The level of animosity that Admiral Xen felt towards the geth representative in attendance became even more evident when she responded to its presence.

"And is _this_ how we get to live in peace!?"

Her words striking out with coldness behind them, the quarian rapidly accessed her omni-tool. Initially confused as to what she was doing, it only took a moment for it to become apparent to all in attendance when disturbing holographic images suddenly appeared before them.

Rapidly moving from image to image, the broken bodies of those who had volunteered for the experiments to restore their poor immune systems gave witness to the horrible suffering they endured. Frozen in states of extreme contortion, only the quarian custom of modesty, present even in death, hid the distended facial features.

Gesturing in the direction of the lone geth in attendance, Admiral Koris was joined by the Prime who took a seat next to him. Processing the images before it, the Prime was not oblivious to the fact that several members of the quarian delegation were not at ease with its presence.

"On behalf of the geth, I wish to express our sympathies for the loss of the creators who volunteered."

'_Can you even feel sympathy?'_ Admiral Raan shuddered slightly as the unwelcomed thought traversed through her mind.

Nodding in acknowledgement, Admiral Koris spoke.

"Do you have any information that may be able to assist us, ambassador?"

Turning initially in Admiral Koris' direction as he spoke, the Prime paused momentarily before focusing its attention back on Admiral Xen.

"I have been advised that you have prevented our scientists from analyzing the remains of the deceased creators. We require access be restored so we may perform our own autopsies."

Its words drew a swift response from Admiral Xen.

"That is out of the question!" Her outburst caught many of those in attendance by surprise, even if they agreed with her assessment that the remains should be left to quarian hands to examine, or, at a minimum, organics.

Seeing this, she modified her tone and continued.

"Out of _respect_ for those lost."

Her words caused Admiral Koris to rise out of his chair in anger. Prior to him responding to Admiral Xen, Admiral Raan, who was seated on Koris' right, grasped his forearm. Looking directly at the Prime seated on Admiral Koris' left, she responded to Admiral Xen.

"Those who died gave their lives out of the hope that our people alive today can leave the prison of their suits. To honor their sacrifice as well to show our resolve in our peace efforts, we will allow the geth access to their remains. Agreed?" As Admiral Raan changed her gaze to each member of the quarian delegation, her words drew agreeing nods even as she had her own reservations to this action.

Seeing that she was in a no-win situation, Admiral Xen reluctantly resigned herself to the decision. Bowing her head slightly in an affronting manner, she ended her transmission to the relief of some in the room.

Turning his gaze towards his synthetic counterpart, Admiral Koris clasped his hands as he spoke with a hint of exhaustion present.

"Is there anything else that you need ambassador from us to assist in this matter?"

Processing the comment almost instantaneously, the leader of the geth delegation echoed a single response before rising.

"No."

Bowing its head, the platform left the presence of the quarian council as Admiral Koris and Admiral Raan responded to the gesture in kind. Satisfied that only organic life-forms were present in the chamber, several discussions started simultaneously. In general, the subject matter of them all could be condensed into one. Should the geth be trusted?

Shaking his head as he listened to the various squabbles raging between the delegates, Admiral Koris slammed his fist down on the table as he shouted.

"Enough!"

His actions and words having the desired effect, he slowly stood. His heart already heavy from the news of the deaths that had occurred, a long silence ensued before he addressed those present in the room.

"I know that it would be easy to fall back into our previous mode of hatred that has plagued our people for so long. It would be easy to pull up stakes as the humans are fond of saying and end this relationship with our creations, so very easily …" His words drifted as thoughts of the past sins done on both sides of the conflict filled his mind.

Shaking his head clear, he once again spoke.

"But we _cannot_ and _will_ not fail to strive for a new day where quarian and geth, organic and synthetic live together in harmony and peace. This is a peace that will be forged from the sacrifices of those who are no longer with us … And we will _not_ fail!"

His final words spoken at almost the volume of a shout, he drew many agreeing nods before adjourning the meeting. Several of the more likeminded quarians approached him to offer their support in maintaining the relationship with the geth that had been forged in the Reaper War. Exiting the chamber last, he turned his attention to Admiral Raan who had just started to proceed towards her accommodation.

"Admiral, would you walk with me for a bit?" Admiral Koris words drew and agreeing nod from his fellow officer.

The distance was not a long one, but Admiral Koris made it a point to use a very leisurely pace as the pair made their way past various diplomatic representatives and their assisting staff. As the two continued to stroll, Admiral Raan spoke.

"That was a good speech Admiral."

"And you did a good job in your restrained response to Admiral Xen." Koris replied with a minor chuckle to Admiral Raan's chagrin.

The incident still fresh on her mind, Admiral Raan restrained her response.

"Yes … Xen is not fully committed to peace with the geth. She still believes they are to be our, _tools_ … an army at our beck and call."

The issue of Admiral Xen's loyalties to the cause of peace with the geth had always been in question even after Shepard had ended hostilities. The glory she desired for her people and her views of the geth as nothing more than mere tools was shared by more than a few quarians, to Admiral Koris' dismay. But the admiral knew that he needed quarian unity first and having her in a position of power was a small price to pay to achieve that.

Moving closer to his female cohort while maintaining the same pace, Admiral Koris motioned for his companion to draw closer as he spoke.

"Is it finished Admiral Raan?"

"Yes. It was delivered as you asked. Though, I have my own reservations about this."

Nodding in response, Admiral Koris sighed as they reached Admiral Raan's quarters. Pausing at the entrance, the door opened revealing the Prime ambassador waiting inside. Motioning towards Admiral Raan, she entered first as Admiral Koris spoke before following.

"As do I …"

* * *

"How much longer?" The young ward asked while attempting to not fidget as the exam proceeded.

"We have been over this before and it's always the same … Once you stop fidgeting I can finish, but till then, you'll just have to sit there." The voice said with feigned annoyance.

Truth be told, Miranda Lawson enjoyed these visits with her former quarian crewmate. Since returning to the Citadel, the loss of the individual she referred to now only as _Mr. Taylor_ weighed heavy on her heart even if she would never admit it. Created to be an avatar of what the perfect human should be, the emptiness she felt with his loss was only exacerbated with each moment she spent alone. To that end, the former Cerberus operative made every effort to lose herself in whatever arms were willing to accept her.

"Miranda –" Tali said before cutting off as her hands continued their incessant motion.

Seeing the spectacle before her, Miranda allowed a small smile to cross her face. Reaching out with her free hand as she grabbed the data-pad from the table, she grasped Tali's hands in an effort to cease their burden. The gesture didn't have its desired effect as Tali turned her head away. Moving closer to her patient, Miranda gently caressed the former chief engineer's cheek as she drew the quarian's gaze to her own. To Miranda's surprise her friend was crying.

"Tali, what's wrong?" She inquired as authentic concern crossed her face.

"I'm – I'm sorry Miranda. It's nothing." Tali said as she quickly stood up.

To her shock however, Miranda didn't budge.

"You're not getting off that easy Miss vas –" She started to say before quickly cutting herself off.

"Miss what?" Tali asked, confused as to what she was going to say and why she stopped so abruptly.

Turning rapidly as she forced the data-pad onto the table in self-directed anger, Miranda silently kicked herself for breaking her protocol. The façade had to be maintained, even if it demanded a heavy toll from those involved.

'_How could I have been so stupid!' _

"Miranda?" Tali inquired again, unsure if she had done something wrong.

Ignoring her, Miranda's mind quickly drifted to the sacrifices that had been made to maintain the ruse. Finally, she focused on the one constant that she knew would not change, the sacrifice of a particular friend who wished to have been more in this life. It was a wish she desired as well, but was too late to make come true. Regaining her composure as well as the wall she had built up since his passing, Miranda rapidly spoke.

"Where do you think you are going Tali? As you know, these tests are a regular routine that has to be completed before you head back out. Or, would you rather explain to Garrus and Kasumi as to why I was unable to complete my examination of you?"

Miranda's all-business manner succeeded in refocusing Tali's attention back to the examination. Knowing this, Miranda quickly proceeded to finish her work, the details of which were hidden from the patient. As had been customary since she had been rescued from Feron's clutches, Miranda had maintained the status quo.

Each week, Tali would arrive for what she believed were simple checkups. But a deeper more hidden reason existed. With each examination, the effective lock that had been placed on her memories was re-examined. With the passage of time Miranda had hoped to see some change that could return Tali to her former self without inflicting the pain and madness that Feron had stated would occur. Shepard on the other hand wanted her to maintain it to keep Tali in his view, safe.

Miranda knew the strain it placed on her former Commander. She could see it on his face, especially after visits with Garrus discussing Tali's state of mind. Even with him stopping his frequent visits with his former quarian fiancé, his penance for a crime he did not commit was never lessened. His love for her kept him attached to this world when his deepest desire was to return to the one he had left behind, even if that meant death.

Either way, no change in her awareness of her former self was ever evident, save for the curious inquiries that Tali made concerning Shepard.

"Ow!" Tali grimaced as the injection took place, straining to not pull away.

"You know, you would think you would get used to this by now." Miranda said as she quickly sterilized the injection point.

Satisfied that her work was complete, Miranda put her tools aside. Sitting beside her patient, a small comforting smile crossed her face. Reaching out and grasping Tali's forearm lightly, she softly spoke.

"Now, do you want to tell me what's on your mind? Please?"

Nodding in response, Tali stuttered out a reply.

"It's – it's about Shepard."

* * *

The look of shock on several of his soldiers' faces wasn't surprising. The information he had just made them aware of was as highly controversial as was secret in nature. But it was this form of warfare that was more common than most people knew, even if the nature of the tactics was viewed with disdain by the regular military. As luck would have it, these were unconventional times and he was at best an unconventional warrior.

"Any questions?" Shepard asked to the gather compliment of some of the most highly trained soldiers the Alliance could muster.

No response to his inquiry was given as the company stood at attention. The information relayed by the Commander was such that their primal military training kicking in as they wrestled with the knowledge that had been bestowed upon them by the decorated Spectre. Unfortunately, that _training_ that was on display left the crew standing at attention.

Annoyed by this lack of response from the men and women who were under his command, Shepard briefly looked at Lieutenant Vega who stood at his right side while his other was flanked by Ensign Cordova. The contrast between the two was not lost on the Commander. Shaking his head, Shepard grasped the bridge of his nose before looking back at those under his command who would be the tip of the spear in this operation.

"Speak freely ..."

After a brief pause, a lone voice mustered up enough gumption and spoke for the team.

"Sir, we all know what you did and what you sacrificed, we are ready to–" His words were cut-off by the suddenly enraged Commander who rushed towards the private until they were face to face.

Spitting his words with a deep emotion and venom, they flowed from the Commander at a break-neck pace.

"Sacrifice? This isn't about sacrifice. Everyone is ready to give their life for their cause. But the real question is are you ready to _kill_ for it, private? To kill without mercy, without remorse, without fear? Are you ready to take a life, to look into the eyes of your enemy and watch it drain from them? Are you? Are you ready to watch your friend die! Are any of you!?"

Stunned by his outburst, only silence was given in response. His face contorted in anger, Shepard was at a loss for words as his thoughts drifted away from the present. His hands shaking with rage, the Commander drew shocked stares from those who were to follow his commands. Seeing this, James rapidly spoke as the Commander hurriedly left the room.

"Attention! Company dismissed!" James' words came as a welcome relief to the soldiers who were just berated by the man who was going to lead them into battle.

Confused, many left rapidly for their quarters as others preceded back to their duty stations. Moving quickly, James and Penny followed the Commander through the exit into the hallway but were surprised to not see any signs of Shepard. Still confused as to the nature of his outburst, Penny turned towards James to speak. Sensing what she wanted to ask, James beat her to the punch.

"No, I don't know what's up with _Loco_, _Scoots_." His words drew an irritated look from the young ensign.

"Please don't call me – Never mind. I need to go and check back with engineering. They had some issues they reported that may delay our arrival."

Nodding in acknowledgment, James leaned against the wall as his companion left for engineering. Crossing his arms, a thought crossed his mind as he let out a low forlorn chuckle.

'_Demons still chasing you, eh Loco?'_

* * *

She didn't like lying to a fellow officer, but James' repeated reference to her by _Scoots_ was easy to use as a minor justification. Little did she know that he had already suspected where she would be heading.

Her training had a psychology background, but the profiles she had been given didn't prepare her for what she was facing with the state of the Commander's mind. Recalling the awkward moment that had happened in engineering previously, Penny made every effort prior to the readiness meeting to look up information on the Commander and his dealings with his crew in that duty station.

The Ensign was bewildered at the lack of information she was able to gather. Other than several reoccurring crew members throughout Shepard's travels, nothing officially stood out other than the unusual fact that a quarian was the chief engineer on the second Normandy. Tali'Zorah was the one constant through all his travels and chose to remain with his crew after peace was achieved between the quarians and the geth.

Riding in the annoyingly slow elevator, Penny's thoughts once again drifted to that of the quarian engineer. The profile on Tali had stated how she met the Commander. Other than the turian Garrus Vakarian, there was no one else perceived to be as trusted by Shepard. After his resurrection by Cerberus, she was one of the first of his original crew to trust in him. Her loyalty to Shepard was without question.

'_And there is that picture …'_

The doors opened as the youthful officer entered the engineering duty station. Briefly speaking with the other crew members present concerning the status of repairs, her attention was focused on the figure seated on the floor by the drive core. Confirming the identity of this person with the engineers present, the Ensign advised them to take a break before walking down the corridor.

_*Background Music: Alright,Pilot Speed*_

Seated on the floor Commander Shepard leaned against one of the protective railings. His body oriented towards the actual drive core, his focus apparently was not on the intricacies of its function. One of his legs was raised in a manner forming a triangle as his arm on the same side rested lazy on his thigh. His other hand danced what appeared to be a bottle of strong liquor that, from her studies on the Commander, was one he favored due to its strong alcohol content.

"Care to join me?" The Commander said, causing Penny to sit down across from him.

A silence formed between the pair as Shepard continued his gaze out over the drive core. Always one who needed activity, Penny spoke up.

"You know, there are probably a ton of Alliance regs we are breaking right now." She said with a nervous giggle.

Grasping the bottle firmly, Shepard handed it over to his companion as he spoke.

"Good thing this isn't _officially_ an Alliance operation then."

Taking the offer, Penny sipped the fluid before coughing strongly. Drawing out a smile from the Commander, he reached over and took the vessel back before downing a quarter of its contents in one gulp. The spectacle was surprising to the Ensign, who commented as she regained her breath.

"I take it those implants make that possible?"

His countenance dropping, Shepard responded as he stared off into the distance.

"Something like that …"

His words carried in the expanse of the core, followed by the silent hum of the technology that surrounded them. Allowing it to fill the space between them, many minutes passed before Shepard finally spoke. His words however were said as if reciting a passage from an ancient text.

"_As you throw me on the rocks … For love, I left your side …_"

"Commander?" Penny said dumbfounded in response.

"Nothing … just something from a long time ago … Listen Ensign, I know you may not agree with what I said in the readiness meeting today, but these guys are really _green_. Sure they have the best training, but they are not murderers. Not yet."

"They are _soldiers_ Commander, they will do their duty and follow you." Her words were said without as deep of confidence as they implied.

Moving over beside Shepard, Penny grasped the bottle and attempted another swig before continuing.

"But that is not why I am here, Sir."

"Drop the _Sir_ formality Penny, call me Shepard or Commander." Shepard said before finishing the contents of the bottle.

Sliding it away from him, he stood up. Joining the Commander, Ensign Cordova came to her feet rapidly, too rapidly. The strong spirit taking its effect, she swayed awkwardly into the Commander. Grasping her so she would not fall into the railing, he steadied her.

Embarrassed at her current position of being locked in Shepard's grasp, Penny regained her footing. Sensing that she was uncomfortable in this position, Shepard released his hold on his junior officer before he spoke.

"I should go."

Moving at a slightly heightened pace, Shepard left the Ensign alone in the drive core as he swayed from the effects of the alcohol and whatever else he had ingested. Turning her attention to where they had been previously seated, Penny noticed what appeared to be a data-pad with an image on it. Retrieving it from its resting place, she turned towards the drive core as she reviewed the face before her.

Beautifully featured with a three finger appendage present, Penny lowered the picture carefully before staring at the drive core, her mind filled with more questions than answers.

'_What happened to you Shepard?'_


	9. What I Never Could Do

The rally had been attended by more people than what had been expected. A low hum was heard throughout the gathering as several counter-measures were in place to mask what was to be discussed. Everyone was scanned and searched prior to gaining entry for both weapons and devices deemed harmful to the leaders of the movement. As his efforts only entailed gaining access to the meeting and taking in a first-hand account of what is being discussed, he was not encumbered by such items.

Jockeying for a better spot at the front of the apparent stage that had been quickly erected, he stood fast as the crowd gelled around him. Directing others with soft hand gestures, he was able to maintain his position as the meeting started. Multiple armed guards ranging from battle-scarred turians, humans with visible amputations, tattered asari commandos, and even a few krograns took up positions around the assembled crowd.

Suddenly, a contingent of asari huntresses proceeded out of the back of the platform. Heavily equipped, they took up positions flanking the center of the platform. Slowly, a pair of asari walked out to apparently address the cheering crowd. Seeing this ruckus, the mole joined in to the revelry as part of his cover. Turning his head towards the human standing next to him, the spy spoke.

"You would think that was Command Shepard up there with how everyone is acting."

The target of his comments forced out a response, his speech stuttering from the heavy scarring present around his jaw.

"Bet – Better. No S_y –Syn – Synth _lover!"

Suddenly, the lights dimmed signifying something more than what had taken place was about to occur. Moving to flanking positions, the previous pair on the stage rested their hands on the dual pistols jutting from their hips as they scanned the crowd. With the rabid fever running through the gathered crowd of like minded individuals, any intruder would surely be torn asunder before the guards could get a shot off.

Strolling into what light was available on the makeshift stage, a beautiful asari presented herself to the cheering crowd. Obviously mentally and emotionally disturbed to an independent eye, she began to rant and rave about those who did not share the values of the people in attendance. Her speech ranged from moments of mania to more depressive elements as she described the suffering she had endured at the hands of the Reapers. The crowd ebbed and flowed with each word she uttered to roaring ovation. It became evident to the infiltrator that those present had obviously suffered heavily at the hands of the Reapers and blamed _all_ synthetics for their plight.

Her words suddenly slowed as she described what moment had finally brought her to the movement, to _him_.

"… No one would give it to me! No one … They let me go and I came here. I … I stood at the edge of the highest point I could find overlooking where it all happened. I took a step forward when suddenly I was stopped. I … I struggled against him, but he just held on till I stopped fighting him … He saved me …"

Overcome with heartfelt emotion, tears streamed down her face as her expression changed to one of pure happiness before she continued.

"And he _will_ all save us!"

Motioning towards the floor, a holographic image was activated showing a partially hooded figure. The crowd erupted before dying down as the figure spoke, his voice heavily accented.

"Every year your leaders celebrate the defeat of the Reapers while actively extending the hand of friendship to a new _synthetic_ menace, the geth." His words drew multiple agreeing yells before continuing.

"And what is it that they want? That organics and synthetics walk hand and hand together … foolish nonsense!"

His indictment drew thunderous applause from the crowd that went on for minutes before drifting off as the speaker continued, the initial words lost to the deafening noise from the mob.

"… Take your _organic_ hands of yours and join your fellow _organic_'s hands. But your leaders want you to walk with the synthetics before walking with each other …"

Suddenly the holo began to power down. Flickering heavily, it was forced from view by a figure emerging from behind. Walking towards the gathered crowd, he strolled with commanding confidence possessed by one who had lead from the front in battle. Grasping the right shoulder of the previous speaker, she turned in his direction. Her eyes swelling with further tears of joy even in her mentally detached state, she threw her arms around him before grasping his hand and facing the crowd. His four eyes filling with the rage of a systematically murdered people, he finished his utterance.

"How _sick_ can you be?!"

* * *

The tension had been brewing since their first meeting. Albeit the match was to be friendly, the very nature of the individuals involved, in particular the much larger opponent's penchant for referring to the young officer in a not-so-flattering manner had upped the stakes. As once described by a fellow turian soldier during a similar engagement long ago, Lieutenant Vega had reach while the Ensign Cordova had flexibility.

_*Background Music: DMX, X Gonna Give it To Ya*_

As the Commander entered the docking bay where the bout had been scheduled, bets were actively being placed by the crew on who would show up, the Ensign or _Scoots_. Unsure of what to make of Shepard's presence, several of the onlookers began to stop in their revelry. Seeing this, the combatants paused in circling each other to see what the lack of commotion was about.

Walking over towards an overturned box, Shepard seated himself before reaching for a flask from a compartment along his left leg. Taking a swing of the contents, James greeted the Commander in the manner solely attributable to him.

"Everything good _Loco_?"

Scanning the gathered faction of men and women sworn to fight and die by his word alone, Shepard reached into his pocket and pulled out a credit chit and thrust it into the air.

"I'll give five to one on _Scoots_ – Ensign Cordova!" His marker was gladly accepted by the multitude to Jame's chagrin.

"Que pasa _Loc_ –" James attempted to say before being ensnared by a pair of arms wrapping their way around his head and neck in a choking manner. Thrusting with her left leg, Penny struck the back of James knee several times in a failed attempt to take him down.

Turning rapidly, his attacker positioned herself on his back as she wrapped her legs around him. The force of Penny's grasp surprised the much larger James. Gasping for breath as her grip tightened, James let out a small chuckle as he struggled to speak.

"Nice one … only one problem _chica …"_

Straining with all her might, she continued the tension as a bead of sweat ran down her nose. Breathing heavily, she responded in-between gasps for air.

"Yeah … What's that?"

A devilish grin graced his face as James replied.

"The _landing_."

With that small warning, James threw his full bodyweight backwards to the surprise of the junior officer mounted on his back. Landing with a resounding thud, the wind was promptly knocked out of Penny, breaking the grip she had on her opponent as well as potentially several ribs. Rolling off of his rival, James came to his feet. Raising his hands in victory to the cheers from the crowd, he offered a hand to his fallen foe. Grasping his appendage, the downed Ensign was promptly pulled to her feet.

_*Background Music Fade Out*_

"Nice move," She said while wiping away some blood that had spilled out of her mouth onto her cheek.

"You too _Scoo_ – Ensign Cordova." James corrected himself midway.

Chuckling at the response, Penny instantly regretted it as she grasped her ribs.

'_Ow.'_

"Till I beat you muscle-head, it's _Scoots .._. for now."

_*Background Music Fade In: Jimi Hendrix, Little Wing*_

Rising up from his make-shift ringside seat, Shepard gave his chit to the effective bookie before joining the former combatants. Eyeing the pair, his attention was first focused on James before switching over to the ailing Ensign.

"Still got some moves James and then some …"

"Anytime you want a go _Loco_, just let me know. For now though, need to get these _verdes_ up to speed."

Nodding in acknowledgement, Shepard turned his attention to his ensign as James left with several of the crew members in attendance, most likely for a quick weapons load-out drill. The festivities over, the mass of soldiers dispersed. Other than Penny and the Commander, only a skeleton crew of sorts was present in the dock.

"He's _really_ good Commander. I thought I had him with that surprise reverse choke but wasn't expecting _that_. I'll get checked out in medical –" Her words were cut short as well as her path towards the exit as Shepard grabbed her arm.

"_No_, you won't. You'll _stay_ right here. Got it, _Ensign_?"

Surprised by the tone in his voice, Penny didn't know what to make of the situation. Confused as to Shepard's mannerism, Penny defaulted to her primal training and came to attention before responding as the pain in her side felt otherwise.

"Yes Sir."

Circling his effective trainee, Shepard peppered her briefly with several pointed questions before a more intrusive one.

"What I don't understand Ensign, is how you got assigned to here …"

"Sir?" The confused officer said.

Her inquiry went unheeded however as Shepard continued with his line of questioning in almost a statement form.

"You have excellent skills and a good military pedigree Ensign Cordova from what I have read about you in your _dossier_. You would make a welcome addition to any crew in the Alliance Navy. But I don't see how you fit for this mission."

Annoyed by his remarks, the emotion was readily present on her face even though she held her tongue. Seeing this, Shepard grinned before responding.

_*Background Music Fade Out*_

"Speak freely Ensign."

Resenting his comments, Penny blared out the first thing she could come up with as she stared at her commanding officer.

_*Background Music Fade In: Five Finger Death Punch, Coming Down*_

"I've worked hard to get here Commander. I deserve a chance to prove myself."

Nodding in a slow, deliberate manner as he feigned contemplation of her words, he circled her. Without warning, Shepard suddenly attacked from behind. Throwing his arms around his junior officer, he locked her limbs to her sides.

"_Commander_!"

Her pleas going unanswered, Penny struggled as she was lifted off the ground. Reflexively, her training took over and she thrust her head into his face repeatedly as his grip around her torso loosened. Turning to face him, she struggled to remove her arms before Shepard used a suplex to pin her down to the mat, the force of the impact knocking the majority of the wind out of her.

Rising to one knee, Shepard grasped the back of her head pulling it off the mat as his free hand drew his omni-blade. His eyes seething with biotic energy, he began the killing motion that he had done on countless occasions before being met with a drawn blade's tip pressing against his neck, a look of fear returned his gaze.

Pressing his bodyweight forward to the shock of the officer below him, the edge pierced his flesh several centimeters deep as the blood pooled around Penny's knife. Unmindful of the spectacle Shepard was making, he spoke in a deliberate manner.

"Do it, Ensign. Do It! Do It Now!"

His words only drew a slight flinch from his opponent. Satisfied with whatever point he was trying to make, Shepard withdrew from his attack and stood up. Looking down at his foe, his wounds closed rapidly to the bewilderment of his junior officer. Wiping the fresh blood front his flesh, Shepard spoke as he stared into the eyes of Ensign Cordova, his right hand reaching down towards her.

"You have all the tools to be a fine officer Penny, but what I need are _killers, murderers_ …" Shepard paused as he grasped Penny's hand, pulling her to her feet.

Taking her knife from her, he briefly examined its edge. Its similarity to a weapon once wielded by a skilled alien long ago, he turned it over so the handle was the furthest point from his body. Handing the weapon back to its owner he finished his thought.

"Are you sure that's what you want to be?"

Turning away from her, Shepard exited the docking bay leaving his third in command to contemplate the meaning behind his words, as well as her own resolve.

* * *

Her check-up wasn't supposed to take this long thought the not-so-retired thief as she made her way towards where she believed Tali was located. Little did she know, the best laid plans were fleeting at best when it came to her ward. Cloaked as she was, her thoughts betrayed her footsteps causing several individuals to have faith in ancient spirits again as they bumped into an invisible wall of sorts that was Kasumi Goto.

She had made the preparations that were needed for the trio to pursue Shepard, even if the destination let alone the circumstances of what caused him to leave so abruptly were hidden.

'_Was it something from that night?'_

Kasumi thought to herself, recalling the events immediately prior to Shepard's departure into apparent oblivion that she purposely neglected to inform her turian mate of.

_The door opened slowly, the mannerism reminiscent of ancient tales of master thieves and assassins from Earth's history. Disturbing her reading of the novelization of "Fleet and Flotilla" which was a means of humoring the turian-of-the-house as she called him; Kasumi activated her cloak immediately. Moving quickly through the security protocols present in her omni-tool, a shallow voice silently filled the air around her as its owner remained out-of-view._

"_It's okay." _

"_Shep … What do you think you are –" Kasumi started to say with an ever raising voice before being silenced with a raise of his fingers that de-cloaked in front of her._

_Turning his head towards the direction of the hallway where his one-time fiancé rested, the rest of his body became visible. Forlornly, Shepard looked back at Kasumi before he spoke._

"_There is something I need to do Kasumi … I promise I'll stay out of sight and won't wake her. Please, let me do this, let me see her …"_

_Strong emotion laced his voice as his words lingered for her to process. Kasumi struggled against the inner voice saying that she should have him immediately leave. But his eyes, the eyes of a broken man needing to make peace with a future stolen from him stared back at her. Pleading with the pent up emotion for a love lost that she knew of all too well, Kasumi's hardened heart relented._

"_Okay Shep. Five minutes, not a second more … If you hurt her –" No sooner had she uttered that last line had she regretted it. _

'_Dammit Kasumi … you know Shep won't!' She berated herself._

_A small, pain-filled smile crossing his face as Shepard rested his hand on his hooded shipmate's shoulder in an effort to reassure her of his intentions._

"_She's lucky to have you … both of you." His words were given freely, acknowledging the care of the human and turian pair that watched over the love that he could not._

"_I'll be quick, I promise."_

_Turning his attention down the hall, Shepard walked towards her room at a pace evocative of a man walking alone to the gallows. Standing tall, each step he took was deliberate. With his head held high and__ with as much gumption as__ he could muster, the Commander reached down to his omni-tool before cloaking. His cloak took an odd path as it started from his lower extremities before heading upward, covering his entire body in its protective veil._

_Moving towards the entrance to the hall, Kasumi positioned herself against the wall. Any words that Shepard spoke could be clearly heard from that position which she felt he knew. Leaning against it for support, she folded her arms as she awaited the silence to be broken. Her wait wasn't long as his words began to flow out of him at a steady pace. The volume of his speech was not a concern as the sedatives that she was regularly given had long ago taken affect._

_As had been customary since she had come to live with her caregivers, the young quarian at the direction of her effective doctor, Miranda Lawson, had been provided with a steady diet of light tranquilizers. Her first days in Kasumi and Garrus__' care had been ones with nights filled with fits of crying and nightmares. Only the comfort of the light rocking motion that Kasumi would perform as she held Tali would calm her. _

_The revelation of this to Tali's former bond-mate took a heavy toll on him. In agreement with the former Cerberus operative, Garrus and Kasumi arranged that their quarian ward's favorite nighttime snack was to be laced with the concoction that had the desired effect, to the relief of all. Now, it would provide the means for the Commander to apparently say goodbye. _

_*Background Music: Evanescence, My Immortal*_

"_Do you remember what we said on Rannoch? … You don't do you? But I do … for both of us, I do Tali. Every day, every moment that passes I do … "_

_His words straining as he fought back his emotions, the Reaper Slayer who had shed and sacrificed countless lives with cold precision had trouble finding the strength or words to continue. Glancing at her slumbering form, he focused his gaze on the ground as he tried to finish what he came to say._

"_I never thought that one day I would be a stranger to you … that when I look into your eyes I wouldn't –" The wall that he had built up holding back the flood of emotion had finally given way._

_Looking up at the object of his inner most desire, a small smile formed on Tali's beautiful lips as if a moment of peace had been bestowed upon her, a peace that the man who only now existed but wasn't truly alive wished to bask in with her. The fleeting moment of joy that she held even in her slumber granted him the strength he needed to say the words that had eluded him for so long._

"_I'm … I'm sorry Tali … I'm sorry for not being strong enough to save you …"_

_Walking towards her bedside as she remained asleep__, the cloaked Spectre saw the box that he had given her in what seemed like a lifetime ago. Opening it slowly, he removed its contents as he reminisced briefly about when he had first given it to her. Kneeling down by her bedside as he de-cloaked, he lightly grasped her hand as she reflexively ran her fingers between his, the sensation brought renewed vigor to the Commander as he carefully spoke._

"_I know you will not approve of what I have to do ... Please Tali, find it in your heart one day to forgive me …"_

_Leaning over, Shepard gently caressed her cheek before touching his lips lightly to her forehead, eliciting a small sigh from the slumbering quarian. Walking with a purpose, he came to the entrance of Tali's room. Pausing briefly, he felt a tranquility that he had been missing in this imitation of life come over him. Turning his head in her direction, he spoke._

"_I love you Tali … I always have … I always will."_

_Leaving in the same manner he came in, Shepard walked passed Kasumi. Unable to look at her, he spoke before continuing his pace, refusing to wait for a response._

"_Promise me … Promise me that you two give her the home on Rannoch that I never could …"_

_His plea receiving only a silent emotion-filled nod from the woman who watched over his love, Shepard departed towards an uncertain future, alone. Walking towards her sleeping friend, Kasumi paused at the entrance. Staring from the precipice, she watched as Tali reflexively caressed what Shepard had given her so long ago. Its beauty a reflection of what he had always seen in her, a single tear made its way down Kasumi's cheek before she turned in for the night._

_Unbeknownst to the hooded caregiver who disappeared into the darkness, however, neither the gesture nor the hidden tears that escaped from the lithe quarian's eyes were done unconsciously._


End file.
